So, that's "Intensive"

The morning after… Spring Festival is finished.


Well, aside from an adult class in an hour and one on Monday evening… I'm officially done the first portion of my contract – the Winter Intensive. What does this mean you ask? For starters, and most significantly to me, it means five days a week of sleeping in; as opposed to the two I get now.

It also means all new students, of varying English levels, that I have to establish rapport with. It's tiring to even think of it, as it is definitely the hardest part of my job. Of the four classes I taught this semester I just never hit it off with one of them, and it made for the longest 1.5 hours/3-times a week I've ever experienced.

I'm diggin' this end-of-semester feeling though. Yesterday, admittedly in no mood to search for things to teach (I'm done the book), I took my C5 class to the market, the grocery store and then to KFC for some drinks. It was great. I was nervous as hell that I was going to lose one of them and be put on the first plane to Inner Mongolia, but I left with five and returned with five – better that, the same five.

Then today I went with my C4 class to the local Jinzhou "Zoo". It's the most animals I've ever seen for $0.14. Though set in a beautiful (or would be if it was summer), huge park, the zoo itself was a bit sad. It had some monkeys, birds, two camels, a bunch of goat-like things and a big black bear from Northern China, which a few years ago got out of its cage and hurt its keeper. You gotta love a country that values the price of a bear more than the life of the staff… in Canada it would have been put down for sure. Good on the bear, but to be honest, living in a 20' x 20' cage … maybe he wanted to be put down.



[1] My C6 Class: Sam, Tim, Wates, Me, Daniel and my CT, Serena. [2] My C5 Class: Lucy, Amy, Amanda, Mickey, Balin and my CT, Cherry.


[1] My C4 Class: Me, Alice, Barb, Rubin and my CT, Zach. [2] My C5 class at KFC after our trip to the supermarket.


Change is definitely in the air around here. Tom has spent all week in town packing his room up, and leaves for Inner Mongolia (no, he didn't lose a kid) on Monday. One of the school's staff, Annie, is at our place right now cleaning up because we are getting a new, albeit temporary, roommate tonight. A Chinese guy is coming from one of the Dalian schools to oversea the renovations of our school for the next couple weeks and my apartment is putting him up. Chez Lei Rui An.

Monday also sees the welcoming of Emma, my new Irish roommate. I know absolutely nothing about her – but I'm crossing my fingers we get along, or it's going to be a long few months.



Lantern Festival, the 15th day of Spring Festival, marks the end … would someone please tell the guys that keep lighting off fireworks!

The Shenyang Gang

The Shenyang Gang


In all honesty, I'm in very little mood to write, and far more tempted to just hit the magic X in the corner and call it a night. It's been a long couple of days, and I really want a full night's sleep. But as we both (now) know, such is not my fate. Besides, I've got some actual Chinese-lookin' photos...

So this weekend past was the big trip up to Shenyang. I was a bit apprehensive with everyone I told saying that it's just a big, cold, dirty city... but I tried to keep my spirits high as I left the school Friday night and headed for a shared taxi. The plan was to take a shared taxi to 100 Year City (a mall) in Dalian and meet Joanna and Brian at a noodle shop close by. I was a bit nervous, but managed to find a shared taxi no problem.

I hopped in and knew I'd have to wait a few minutes until the other two empty seats were filled. Sixty minutes later I gave up and got out (for all those that feel I don't have patience, please write this moment down). I had to meet the Irish at 8:30 and it was now pushing 8:40 and I was still a (non-happening) 40 minute taxi ride away. Well, getting out caused quite a stir and with promises of leaving, they got me back in the cab.

So, I arrived at the noodle place more than an hour late and there was a not-surprising lack of Joanna and Brian. Now, in that hour or two I had sitting in the taxi I had firmly outlined the problems that would face me when I got to Dalian, namely: I didn't have their phone number and I didn't have a phone card to make phone calls on the public phones. A bit of face-losing goofiness and I was offered the use of the noodle restaurant's phone (incidently the Japanese restaurant I went to with Serena a week or so ago) to call Tom back in Jinzhou and get the number. When the restaurant phone couldn't dial Jinzhou one of the waitresses was kind enough to hand me her cell. Long story not as long as it could be... I got Brian on the phone, he came and got me and we laughed over the telling of it while I chowed down on some well earned Japanese take-away.

In the morning the three of us met up with Alan, Vanessa and Andrew at the train station and dove into our four-hour express train ride north. Arriving in the city and armed with matching LP guides we jumped into a set of cabs and headed to our selected hotel. The place was 124 RMB/night for doubles with an en suite bathroom - not too bad. The only thing was, despite LP's insistance that most Chinese hotels have two single beds in double rooms... Andrew and I found different. With a few chuckles, who gets the pink coat hanger jokes, and "we're both grown men" comments.. we made due.

Our first point of interest was the Mao Zedong Statue in the centre of town. It is this huge tribute to THE Chairmen of Chairmen and was quite impressive. After some finger freezing photos, we grabbed some taxis and headed to the North Tomb, the burial place of the Qing Dynasty's first emperor. The Qing Dynasty was China's last dynasty - and if you've ever seen The Last Emperor - that's them. They were Manchurians (at the time an autonomous region from China) and took over Beijing in the 1600s, ruling until the Nationalists took control early last century. Shenyang (as well as Dalian) is in what used to be Manchuria, so this area has quite an interesting history.



Mao coining the Chinese version of 'Go West'.


The tomb was absolutely beautiful. I'm not sure if it was really that amazing, or I was just elated to see some actual Chinese-style architecture as opposed to the Communist-concrete motif that has infected most places. The tomb is set in this huge park and though freezing, I found it really nice to just get out and stretch the legs. I've not done much exercise since Spring Festival and I am realizing I REALLY need to get into some sort of routine.




The North Tomb


After the tomb we headed back to the hotel for a bit of a rest. While the couples crashed, Andrew and I got a good laugh out of the TV. There was no CCTV9 (English) TV, so it was a bit of a sport finding things entertaining enough to not need comprehensible language for. We settled first on a Disney cartoon of the Tortise and the Hare that must have been from the 40s. It was hilarious seeing it dubbed in Chinese. After that we drove headlong into this Hot Male Contest... rather an interesting show to be watching considering our sleeping arrangements.. but once the talent portions started and the goofy Asian dancing began... we were hooked to see what dude the women would save from getting pushed into a pool of water. Ah, quality TV.

At about 7 the rest of the crew stirred and we all headed out for dinner. An embarrassing amount of wasted food later and we were heading back to the hotel with some Chinese brandy, a few bottles of beer and a newly got deck of cards that came free with the purchase of a 9V battery (gawd did the women seem confused when we handed her back the battery). We kept a game of Asshole going well into the night and made a significant dent in the bottle of brandy - a god-aweful booze.

In the morning we checked out of the hotel and headed down to The Imperial Palace, dubbed as a mini-Forbidden City. One of only two Imperial Palaces in all of China, it was not really much to look at. I mean, it was relatively interesting, but it was damn cold and the place looked like it had been gutted of anything actually valuable. At 50 kuai it wasn't cheap either (I paid less to get into the Louvre).





The Imperial Palace


Well chilled straight through, we warmed up with another feast of food and then headed to the North Pagoda (Bei Ta). Having seen Buddhist temples in Thailand, there was just no possibility for comparison... but having been in the country for over a month now and seen any real culture buildings, let alone people showing any sort of belief in anything but cell phones and DVDs... it was an experience. The place is looking the worse for wear though.

We spent the remaining couple of hours hanging out in the comfy lounge at the train station. Andrew and I killed the time playing pool, which was great despite losing all four games. The train ride home was decent and I was luckily able to catch the last train from Dalian to Jinzhou.

Sorry this is all very to-the-point, but I've got to be up in like six hours and I'm supposed to handle parent-teacher interviews tomorrow... I need some sleep.

"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."
R.I.P. Hunter

Commies Rule, Cappies Drool

That's right folks... the world's biggest communist country just hit top of the charts as biggest consumer. According to a CBC.ca article China just beat out America as the top consumer...

Oh, and for anyone that might have heard about that big coal mine explosion that has killed like 200-some-odd people... it was in the same province I am in, Liaoning, but is about 7 or 8 hours away.



If you drew a line straight down from Fuxin to the peninsula between Korea and Beijing, that's where I am.

Anyhow... as you might have guessed by all my reading of news back in Canada (boo hoo NHL) not much has really been happening to me since I got back to school earlier this week. I am hopeful for the weekend though, as I'm going to Shenyang with some friends. I hear it's a real shit-hole of a city, but well.. it's fifth biggest in China, and we've got bugger all else to do.

Alright - I've finally pulled some Spring Festival photos off my camera... nothing overly exciting (how do you top cold dead dog in your fridge?), but here they are:



[1] Serena outside a park near Victory Square. [2] There were four of these giant balls in Xinghai Park, spelling out Happy New Year I think.


[1] Victory Square Shopping Centre... loads of everything you need, and even more of everything you don't. [2] Ah, that's a firework. ;-)


[1] Annie's family and the Matthews, along with what's left of the lunch she had for us. [2] Later that night, we went to Kai Fa Qu for some drinks, met up with Lao Paul (old Paul) and Brandon, two English teacher's there.


[1] When will Canadian bartenders pick up on this trend? [2] These two girls were great, I mean I've seen chipper bartenders before, but they really looked like they were having fun.

NOTE: By the way! I got a program called Skype that will let me talk to you all over the Internet, virtually like it's a phone line. You just need speakers and a microphone. My username is thehumanaught.

Tone Deaf

I guess anything is difficult when you are first learning, but man am I ever frustrated with this damn Chinese thing.

I've realized that if I'm going to get anywhere with it I really need to practice more. I tend to just throw in a phrase here and there, and mostly listen... but I don't do my homework. What I'm starting to recognize is that if I want to see real results I'm actually going to have to work at this ... but I feel like a bit of a knob sitting alone in my apartment saying "Ni de ba ba ma ma hao ma?" (How is your father and mother?) over and over again...

No, I'm not trying to be all sauve and learn how to inquire about someone's parents... but it is a good sentence because it uses three out of the four tones, plus the neutral tone... but even after practicing it for five minutes and I'm certain I've nailed it I listen to a recorded version of it... and it's not even close.

I am hopefull though, as it was explained to me by Tom as thus: Where in Spanish it is quite easy to pick up the basics quickly, when you get into the grammar, it's very difficult - so being a novice at Spanish is easy, but being fluent is quite hard. Chinese is the opposite. The grammar is very simple, but getting the tools to just be able to pronounce the words is tough... if you get over that initial hill though, it's smooth sailing...

So, I'll keep at it and see what happens. I've decided I'm going to put my 2-hour Chinese lesson to better use and focus learning pinyin (Chinese written in Roman script, as opposed to characters). I'll then make myself responsible for increasing my vocabulary and picking up conversational things. I'm also seriously considering paying for additional classes come the new term when I have more time.

The funny part is, I know that even if I stick to all this, at the end of my seven months I'll only have enough to REAL roughly get by. Matthew, my neighbour, has been studying for seven or eight months now... and is JUST getting comfortable having basic conversations. Sigh.

Oh, last night was my party - a good load of people showed up... four of the crew from Dalian, about 4-5 of my "adult" students and Serena, Annie and Mary from Future School. Doris also showed up a bit later, as did Tom and his girlfriend, whom I had never met. It was a nice little get-together. The Chinese folk didn't stay very long, but my friends from Dalian made a go of it and we drank and chatted until after midnight.

Back to school tomorrow morning.. I wouldn't mind so much if I didn't have a bunch of make-up classes to fit into my already full schedule, so I'm in for a busy week. But only two more weeks of classes and then I've got another mini-holiday between semesters.

I'm a little excited and a little apprehensive about the new semester. It's bringing with it a lot of changes, and I'm just finally getting used to things. First, a lot of people are leaving... Tom as well as five of the eight friends in Dalian. Second, a new person is coming - and I don't have any idea how that's going to affect the living situation. One of the Matthews next door is moving to Kai Fa Qu as well, which means they may just move the three of us that are left (Matthew, new person and myself) into one apartment... which I am not too eager for. I'm keen on having a roommate, but Matthew has already confessed that he'll drive me mad.

Also, our school is moving to a new building - and though it is closer... I was just starting to like Bu Xing Jie.

Anyway, I think me and the crew are heading up to Shenyang, the capital of Liaoning province, this weekend. It's about a five or six hour train ride to the city, but I think it should be a good weekend trip. It is the fifth largest city in China, and plays host to a mini-forbidden city/Imperial palace... though I do feel like I'm going off to explore when I've not even really explored here too much - but I think there's about seven of us going, and safety in numbers.

I'm also hoping to make a weekend trip out of going to Dandong. It's a city on the border to North Korea and is only a few hours away as well. I don't know if it'll be very interesting, as I've heard mixed things - but by all accounts, the Korean food is top notch. I think the main draw of the place is so Westerners can go and wave at the poor saps in N. Korea... however, the Koreans may have a bit more swagger in their step now that they've admitted they've got nukes...

Stuffed

Right, so I've undergone about four days worth of serious overeating. I mean, it's nuts. We Westerners think we've got it bad because at "the holidays" we eat too much... but usually just one day. Spring Festival is insane... just non-stop gorging for like a week. I mean the Chinese tend to eat a lot on any given day... but this is bordering on dangerous.

Thursday I met Serena down by the school for 11:30. I wasn't sure if it was 11 or 11:30 I was supposed to meet her, so I went for 11. Then when she wasn't there at 11, I began to wonder if maybe it wasn't Friday I was supposed to meet her...

Thankfully she showed up at 11:30. We had agreed to grab lunch and then head to Dalian. With all the restaurants in the area closed, Serena suggested we go back to her Grandmother's and grab a bite there. I had pictured sort of a 'tea with gram' idea... but we got there and about 3 generations of Serena's family were there to greet us, and stuff us until we could barely move. It was great though.

We then grabbed a shared taxi to Dalian and spent the afternoon randomly shopping around Victory Square. I had no luck finding any Western food to cook for my party tomorrow, so now I'm likely just going to grab a bunch of food at the local restaurant and pass it off as my own - gotta love Chinese gulibility, last week I had my C6 class convinced that I was married to six different women and had 10 kids.

But what the day lacked in Western food, it made up for in DVDs. I managed to buy a handful of new movies (including Garden State and I Heart Huckabees) as well as the first four seasons of Stargate SG-1, my aunt will be so proud. The best part is I got about 5-6 movies and four seasons of a TV show for around $15 - I love China. I mean, I know I go on and on about DVDs like they are better than electric underwear... but really.. they are so cheap and my only source of entertainment. I can hardly bare to watch more than 5 minutes of CCTV 9, the only English TV channel. The shows are always about the amazing world of pottery or some such crap, and the news really only talks about how awesome China is, how well it's doing and what cool country's dignitaries are in China to support China's One Country (aka Taiwan is not a country) policy.

Anyway, so after shopping Serena and I were at a loss for something to do, but as we were cold, more food sounded like a reasonable time killer (we didn't have to be at Xinghai Square until 7:30 for the fireworks). We went to this big Japanese noodle place which was quite good and I treated Serena to her first ever Sushi experience. I mean, really... I could nearly hit Japan with a stone from here and she's NEVER had Japanese food (OR Korean!). The food was excellent, but we were still stuffed from lunch.

We grabbed a cab after dinner and hit the park just before the fireworks started. Xinghai Park is right on the sea, and is quite beautiful. It was all lit up for the occassion (or I assume it was just for the occassion) and the fireworks were fantastic. I've photos and such, but I'll post them along with the party photos from tomorrow.

Yesterday was a bit of a blah day, mostly involving The Shield and Stargate and my first dumpling cooking experience. I bought some frozen dumplings from the supermarket and was a bit worried they'd be difficult to cook - nope. Easy peasy.. and hao chi!

Today I went with the Matthews next door to Annie's, a woman we work with, house for lunch. Annie is actually Serena's aunt. Anyway, Annie fed us until we were all about to burst. I thought we were getting a 'how to make dumplings' lesson... but it never happened - maybe it's a bit of a secret.

Now I'm just trying to decide if I'm motivated enough to clean up around here, or if I want to try my hand at practicing drawing (increasing my knowledge of visual arts was my new year's resolution) ... or, more than likely, I'll just watch more TV... gawd I'm lazy - and soon to be very fat I think. Thank god for the 120 stairs I have to climb every day...

PS: My friend Eric told me about this cool correspondance Chess site called RedHotPawn.com - if anyone wants to play, it's free and my username is Acidhartha.

Chinese New Year's Eve Video

lo (dial-up) ~ hi (cable/dsl)

Xin Nian Kuai Le

Well, Spring Festival is upon me and I’m officially on holiday - though I guess technically I’ve now been on holiday for two days, which is nearly as long as I’ve been trying to update my blog, but with little to no success.

For some reason I just cannot get on to the area of the site where I post from. I learned that I can post from e-mail, but have to configure it in the settings, yet another section of the Blogger site I cannot access. Grr. So it is that I’m writing this in MS Word, and hoping that at some point in the not-too-distant future I’ll be able to post it.

The festival started with a bang yesterday morning at about 7 a.m. Actually, it was several bangs, and a big boom. They have these crazy fireworks here that are basically just a long line of string-tied, red (for luck) paper-wrapped, high-grade explosives and they sound like a bloody machine gun with a climatic cannon firing at the end.

Tom left yesterday morning, and so now I’ve the place to myself for the rest of the holiday. I’m mixed about it – as I do like the company, but I also like the space… and though Tom hardly ever watches TV, it’s nice to be able to watch my episodes of The Shield whenever I like. Have you seen this show? It’s awesome.

About mid-afternoon I decided to head out and see if I could get some groceries before everything closed for the holidays... I, apparently, was too late. But having already descended the stairs, I figured ‘what the hell... lets get some photos of where I live for the ol’ blog.’



These were actually taken from my apartment window...



The first here is of my apartment building – my apartment is right at the top, where the two round roof things are... the one on the right is my living room. The second photo is sort of a Sheng Bin Gardens ‘from a distance’ type shot, to give you an idea of what the complex looks like...




The mountain in the distance is Big Black Mountain... apparently it makes for some great hiking, nice views, but I’ll wait for spring to verify that.




For dinner I met up with the Matthews next-door. We were a little nervous to venture out into the fray, as safety standards are an issue with neither the fireworks manufactures nor those that light them off. However, we managed to find safe refuge in one of only a handful of open restaurants. The food was so-so, as we ordered a few chicken dishes, and I’m still not used to the bone-in style in which they serve their little chunks of ji rou here.

After dinner I grabbed some beer and hung out next door listening to music and watching fireworks. Though constantly going off, big shows of fireworks were a bit sporadic until maybe about 10 p.m. From then on you could pretty much look out any window and get a good show. As the last hour before the new year approached the sky was painted with bursts of colour, and the final 10-15 minutes is just not something I can really explain. I guess, picture every fireworks show you’ve ever been to combined into one, think of the finale x10, but across an entire city... and you’re close. It was amazing. I mean... I really would like to take this opportunity to apologize to any Chinese nationals that have recently relocated to Canada for our lack of any sort of firework lighting finesse. I think the Canadian 'works are generally nicer (at $5-10 a burst... it’s no wonder why)... but nothing I’ve seen on Victoria Day or July 1st could ever even remotely hold a flame to what I saw last night – and I’m in a small town.








After midnight Matthew and I hit the street to see things first hand, but everything pretty much started to quiet down. As proof to a theory we had about last night being the busiest night of the year for the fire halls and hospitals, a fire truck showed up in Sheng Bin. It took us a bit to figure out what they were on about, as they looked just as confused as we did as to where the problem was, but then we saw the scorched siding on one of the top-floor apartments... no fire... but I’m sure the landlord will be pissed. Further proof of lax-safety was found a bit earlier when Matthew and I were watching the fireworks out my kitchen window and saw two guys with big brooms running to the back of the building. Going to my back window (living room window) we saw why... the lawn was on fire... like not just a little flame, but the whole lawn! Thankfully they seem to have been able to just sweep up the fire (I have no idea), and even more thankfully, all the apartments are built with very little wood... but I wonder how many families started off the new year with some real crap luck and no longer have a home.



The fire on the lawn and the fire truck...


With everything reasonably quiet, we returned to our apartments and I said goodnight to the new year. So now, the Year of the Rooster has begun (I gave an interesting lesson in slang the other day when one of my adult students referred to this year as 'The Year of the Cock'). Today I am spending my new year’s day in typical fashion – I’ve not showered, I’ve ate only crap so far and I’m basically only motivated to watch DVDs. Without family to go spend time with... the 'holiday' is a bit boring. However, tomorrow I’m meeting up with Serena and we’re going into Dalian to watch some fireworks, which should be quite cool. Hopefully some stores will be open as I want to take the opportunity to grab some needed items for my potluck party on Sunday. I’ve decided to try and find some Western food to cook, for I’m sure there will be PLENTY of Chinese food here – I’ve heard rumours that it’s easy enough to get in Dalian, but we’ll see.

NOTE: I'm trying to put together a little video presentation of last night... though my digital camera is crap for video (small and no sound) and I'm not entirely sure if I'll be able to stitch it together... but check back.

Chinese New Year's Eve Video

lo (dial-up) ~ hi (cable/dsl)

I thought it felt a bit warmer...

The Chinese Heating Solution

Right, so it was finally getting warmer, and then today it started to snow... which actually was just what myself and my two neighbours had been hoping for last night as we couldn't think of a better scene than it snowing down on these new electric palm trees they've installed just outside of Sheng Bin, our apartment complex.

Lights are going up all over the city, with endless amounts of city workers assuring every step of the way is met with the utmost supervision.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but in China there are an infinite amount of people and a finite amount of jobs... so, the solution, it would seem, is just to have EVERY position extremely overstaffed. It's quite crazy at a restaurant as you've got like 6 waitresses waiting at your beck and call... but it is a bit unnerving when you've got all these Chinese people, in their cute little uniforms, staring at you attempting to use chopsticks (you may think you know how to... but trust me, you don't - these people possess mad skillz).

So tomorrow is my last day of school before Spring Festival - that is unless my recently-returned-from-hospital neighbour decides not to go into work this weekend as promised, and I have to cover his shifts...

Oh, I've had some new foods... and am near confident that I'm reaching the end of the "strange" foods list (silk worm larva is still on the menu, but I think despite it having been offered, I'll keep that one a mystery). On Tuesday night I went out to a BBQ place where I had chicken neck (surprisingly good - tastes of chicken) and pigeon. That's right folks, striking a blow for urbanites everywhere... I ate one of the little bastages.. though not bad, it was a bit overdone. The kicker (pun intended) came yesterday when I went for lunch with Sherry and I had jiao zi lu rou - dumplings stuffed with donkey meat. As much as it's a bit difficult to discern any meat when stuffed in a dumpling... it was quite good. The Chinese say that donkey meat is only next to dragon meat for being the most delicious - fortunately for dragons, I've not seen it on any menu ... yet.

Cannons to the left... Cannons to the right...

Right, so it sounds like there's some heavy shelling going on outside my apartment. Evidently someone got their days mixed up and mistakenly thinks today is the start of Spring Festival - which is, in fact, a week from today.

Along with an ever-growing symphony of car horns, there have been constant explosions since I got home about three hours ago. I had assumed that perhaps it was some over zealous kid that got his hands on some firecrackers, but when looking out the window I saw an old man light and run...

I have a feeling that this is just a taste of things to come, and I also get the sense that I might be having a rough time sleeping... or watching TV... or doing anything but reminding my heart not to stop at every big bang for the next two weeks or so.

In less ticker-terrifying news - I officially have my full Chinese names, and better that, I can actually write it. The name is Lei Rui An, Lei being a surname and Rui An being the given name. I had the given name already, but no surname, however my Chinese friend Gavin helped me out. He came to me yesterday, looking like he had been pondering it all night and announced "Ryan, I think your Chinese surname should be Lei - it is well suited to the meaning of your name I think."

Lei means swift, or quick action - and thunder.
Rui means auspicious, a felicitous omen.
An means peaceful, tranquil and quiet.

The Rui An bit, pronounced Ree-anne, comes from a bit of a creative spin on Ryan.

All and all I'm quite happy about the name. If you're curious about the characters, they are the three above in the newly designed header for my blog. Yes, I finally got around to putting a little personality into this page. What do you think?

Well - dinner awaits... oh, and I would like it to be noted that with the exception of the succeeding comment, I made absolutely no DOGGIE BAG jokes about my dog soup leftovers... it was hard. Very hard.