Beijing: I went for the postcards

Table of Contents (it's a long entry)
Day 1: Tiananmen Sq.
Day 2: The Great Wall
Day 3: Forbidden City
Day 5: Summer Palace
Day 6: Last Day


Right, so Beijing. I would have had this post up sooner, but I wouldn't dare go on and on about my awesome trip to China's capital, and not have some photos to share. The thing is, I took so many, I didn't want to do the conventional [insert photo here] system that I have been using. So, instead I've finally gotten around to creating a bit of a photo album system for my site - and the Beijing photos are the first to test it out. Lemme know what you think of the look and the functionality.

Beijing Photos

The Friday I was leaving to Beijing I decided I was at last going to break down and buy a mobile. I don't have a huge social network here, but really I just want to walk around and pretend like I do. So, after donning my pack and saying so long to Emma, I went in to Dalian and spent the better part of an hour trying to negotiate a good price for a phone. The challenge - despite the girl at the shop's desire for my cash - was that I had to do most of it in Chinese, and well... mime. I'm really borderline now on whether I want to come back to China to study Chinese or come back to study mime... perhaps I'd have to go to France for that... Chinese it is.

We eventually agreed on 600 RMB (about $90 CDN) for the phone, a SIM card and a charger. It's second-hand, but it's a colour flip phone. The girl's soul-releasing sigh and utter colapse on the counter as I was leaving left me thinking I got an alright deal - or atleast did my best.

Now armed with a new toy, I found my train. From other foreigners-in-China blogs I had a bit of a nervous apprehension getting onboard, as I was really worried I'd be bunking with some noisy old ladies for the whole over-night journey. I, tragically, got stuck with two twenty-something Chinese girls who could speak great English. My poor luck ;-). The trip wasn't fantastic, but it wasn't horrible either.

Arriving in Beijing at about 6:30 a.m., I said goodbye to the one girl who was off to visit family in Sichuwan. The other girl, Rose, had a bit of time before her aunt was picking her up, so she tried to help me find my complementary ride to the hostel. He was nowhere to be found, so she offered to take a cab with me and help me locate the place.

In the hostel I was met by a very apologetic staff member who said he looked everywhere for me (yet had beat me back to the hostel?). He showed me up to Martin's room, where a very groggy UK accent grunted a 'good morning, how was your trip, k... g'night.'

After we both got a bit of well needed sleep we caught up and headed down to Tiananmen Sq. I don't know really what I was expecting, but with the crowds of Chinese and Western tourists and people flying kites - it was hard to imagine that there had ever been any bloodshed there. The place is massive though.

It didn't take us long to get swept up by an "art professor and his student" who had travelled from some far away province and were having an art exhibition at the museum across the road. I had read about this scam and knew what to expect, but as we didn't have anything else to do, we went along with it. It was a nice crash course in Chinese art, and though the pressure to buy was present, it was not half as bad as the touts in the square.

We spent the rest of the day wandering around the area. Around sunset we had two Chinese girls come up to us and start chatting. They said they were English teachers in the city and we talked about teaching, etc. Walking out through a bit of the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Sq. they gave us a history lesson on the area. We started heading back towards the hostel and swung into a little market hutong (alley) which Martin and I had visited earlier. The girls asked us if we wanted to grab some tea before heading back to the hostel and we figured what the hell.

SCAM ALERT: Alright - to be fair, I am still not 100% on this, and Martin has more faith that it was legit than I do ... but anyway. We went in, had this really cool tea ceremony where we learned all about different Chinese teas, how to drink from the little cups, etc., etc. After about an hour the bill came and it was 500 RMB (about $75). Our collective jaws dropped. We managed to negotiate it down to 400 RMB ($60) or 100 RMB each. So, we all coughed up the cash and left. We said zai jian to the ladies and headed back to the hostel. I am reasonably certain that at this point the girls went back to the tea shop, collected their money and a nice commission... but I'll never know.

We nursed our slight loss of faith in humanity with a nice meal and a trip down to a bar that was designed to look like a proper English pub, complete with football (ah, soccer). Not having a clue about the sport, Martin gave me a crash course, and with a little figuring we sorted out that I was either a Chelsea or a Palace supporter (due to my time in S. Kensington and Morden respectively). As luck would have it the two teams were playing each other and I decided to base my support on whomever won the match. Now, anyone that knows anything about football is going to immediately laugh at this. See, Chelsea is top of the Premiership right now, whereas Palace is ... not. So, now I'm stuck with a team that is cleaning up, but I've got no cred because I just look like a bit of a glory-hunting wanker. Sigh. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll be spending the next 6 months gathering random historical figures and statistics about this team just so when I say, "yeah, I support Chelsea" I can seem like I know what the hell I'm talking about.

We rose early the next morning and met the rest of our Great Wall tour group in the hostel's common room. This was actually my first full-on glimps of the people who would play such an integral part of my good time in Beijing. The group consisted of two ESL teachers from Japan, Maria and Suzie; an adorable (but more on that later) British girl, Sam; and two German guys.

The 2 1/2 hour van ride north of Beijing was full of, "Oh! Is that the Great Wall? No, that's just the mediocre wall" jokes and just generally getting to know each other. Maria's from Tasmania, which instantly endeared her to me, and the fact that she's a riot made it simple as well. Suzie is from Canada, and at the risk of offending (you choose who), could easily pull off "American". Sam had spent the previous month in Shandong Province teaching English and was hitting up Beijing before flying back to England, her boyfriend and a job at a bank (again, more on that later).

There are a number of places to visit the Great Wall - it is, after all, about the length of Canada. Leo Hostel has a couple different tours, but we chose to go to one of the less touristy areas and less restored areas. The Wall was ... well ... great. I had sort of thought it is just going to be flat and that walking on it would be boring, but I couldn't have been more wrong. It was mostly all up hill and a heck of a workout. It proved too much for Suzie, and she headed back the way we had come (the planned route was a sort of circle).

Now, Martin's not just your average guy. He's special. Ya see, Martin has this thing whereby he eats famous landmarks. He's eaten bits of the Berlin Wall, Sahara Desert, the Grand Canyon, Ankor Wat, and most recently The Great Wall of China. I first learned of this last year in Thailand when he told me that he was the only person he knew that had eaten something from outerspace. He had gotten these little limited edition filings from a meteorite as a promo in a cereal box. I just thought it was the neatest thing and as a parting gift he gave me one. Upon returning to Canada and drinking a load of Canuck ale, I brought the number of people who had eaten things from space up to at least six (and you know who you are!). So, now officially inducted into this strange society, I too have officially eaten a bit of the Great Wall - it wasn't that great.


Martin, chowin' down. I swear I heard him say it needs some HP sauce.

After getting all trekked out, and filling up on more than some rock at a local restaurant, we went back to the hostel with just enough time to take a quick breather and head to a Beijing Acrobats show. Now, I've seen some amazing feats by human beings, hell, I am a card-carrying member of the Reality TV Generation, but the things these folks could do with their bodies... it's just not right. I've never seen anyone balance a collection of fine crystal on each limb and manage to turn themselves completly over (from stomach to back, and back again).

After a bit of dinner (honestly, the Wall wasn't as filling as you'd think) we called it a night and agreed to meet the next morning to do the Forbidden City. I hadn't heard a positive thing about the Forbidden City, and was told that the mini-Forbidden City in Shenyang was just as interesting and much more comfortable to walk (if not a bit colder).

For what it's worth, it was good to see it, but the reality of it is that it was nearly just as gutted as the one in Shenyang. It's a bit like castles in England or temples in S.E. Asia. At first they're really interesting, but you quickly get to a point where you lose all purpose for being there. Sure it's historic, but years of sacking has pretty much assured that there aren't many old or interesting on-site artefacts. However, the Forbidden City's one redeeming feature was the fact that our tour guide was double-oh seven himself... Roger Moore. No joke. Well, loads of "this must be his cover for a spy mission in China" jokes... but he seriously was the audio tour guide.

After a few hours of walking we went for the much more rewarding Beijing Roast Duck (Beijing Kao Ya). I remember seeing a restaurant in St. Catharines that advertised Peking Duck, and never gave it much thought - a mistake I'll not make again. It was great. It's served in courses, they bring you slices of the roasted skin first, which you dip in sugar. Next is the breast meat, which is combined with cucumbers and spring onions and rolled in a thin pancake thing with some sauce. Third was a soup that none of us had much to do with. Last were basically the left-over bits. Just random chunks of the duck all soaked in this great sauce.

We finished up the meal, asked for the bill (man, that never gets old) and rushed back to the hostel to join the group going to see the Beijing Opera. I am exactly 50/50 on this. The first half of the opera had me falling asleep despite the dying cat like wailing ("Just pick up the damn bracelet already!"), and the second half was like something right out of House Of The Flying Daggers with this woman surrounded by men throwing staffs at her as she deftly kicked them away (no, no symbolism there).

With a bit of instruction from the hostel's resident Englishman, Simon, we headed to a bar just off of Sanlitun Lu (aka Jiu Ba Lu - or Bar Street) called Kai Bar. The place was well cool with a very chill atmosphere. The 5 kuai shots before midnight didn't hurt either. Maria and Suzie left, but Martin, Sam and I all stayed on and continued drinking until they closed up shop. It was a bit annoying when Maria and Suzie decided to leave and Suzie very directly told Sam that she should not stay with us two guys. I mean, I understand what she was saying - and had we not all just spent the last two full days together, she'd have a point. But as it was, it was just damn insulting, first to Sam. I mean she's young, but she has been in China alone for a month - I think she can handle herself. And secondly, to me and Martin, we certainly wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. Alright, alright... as it turns out, maybe Suzie had a bit of forsight. Nothing happened that I wouldn't tell my mother about, but I'm sure it's a different story for Sam's (incidently, now ex) boyfriend.

After the bar Sam, Martin and I took a cab back to the hostel, and I had the filthiest conversation I've ever had with a Chinese person, completely in Chinese. I admit, I was a bit at fault for starting it. Sam and Martin were chatting away in the backseat, and I get ambitious with Chinese when I've been drinking, so I struck up a conversation by asking if the cab driver thought Sam was pretty. I don't know exactly how it escalated into him using hand-jestures to mime verbs no one has been brave enough to teach me in Chinese... but I nearly had tears in my eyes from laughing by the end of the ride. We woke up the staff at the 24 shop (it's a funny thing walking into a store and having like 3-4 people randomly sleeping around the shop) to grabbed some more beer to finish off the night at the hostel.

The next morning I woke up with a major hangover. Maria and Suzie headed out on their own for the day, so Sam, Martin and I headed down to the train station where I, completely in Chinese, ordered my ticket back to Dalian. I was bursting with pride in my abilities for the rest of the day -- it wasn't until later that night that it hit me that I got my ticket for Friday, and I needed a ticket for the Thursday night train. All that superbia, gone.

The three of us spent the day wandering around a bit of a posh, business area of Beijing where the newly covered Silk Street is located. I had heard all kinds of neat things about the Silk Street... lots of knock-offs, etc., etc. And I was expecting a real seedy, backwater, Bangkok-esque experience. I wasn't let down with the knock-offs... there was every fake thing you could think to copy, and then some. However, it was all well glossed over. The whole place looks more like a mall.

Later, we met up with Maria and Suzie, a new guy named Tom, as well as those German blokes from the Great Wall trip and headed down to a restaurant. The food wasn't great, but I really enjoy eating out with a bunch of people. Much to the death-like gazes from Suzie, most of my attention was given to Sam ... as she was taking it on herself to see how much glare she could attract from Suzie. I'm not sure why it irritated Suzie so much that Sam and I got on well... but whatever it was made it quite uncomfortable and did nothing to help my already somewhat tested tolerance of her. I mean, Suzie's a nice enough girl - but everything she says just drips with pretentiousness. It's embarassing when it's directed to a Chinese person and I'm present, but it was a real piss-off when it was to the rest of us.


Sam and I - her looking all cute and pretty, and me looking like I just woke up.

Anyway. Tom, Martin, the German guys, Sam and I all ended up back at Kai Bar ordering numerous 5 kuai shots and Tsing Tao beer. The boys were settling in for a solid night of drinking, so still recovering from the night before, Sam and I decided to call it in and headed back to the hostel at about 12:30 or so. We were in the cab for ages when we just sorta looked at each other and were like, "shouldn't we be here by now?" I'm still not certain if the cab driver was just driving around in circles. We got out of the car and in the most politely British way Sam appologized, stepped away, threw up, and stepped back, appologizing again - but never losing stride. Cool girl, that one.

The morning came far too quickly as I had to get up and say goodbye to Sam. Sadly she had to leave at about 8 a.m. to catch her flight back home. Sigh. Ah, but all is not lost. The Orient proved too much lure for this young lass, and her adventure is not over yet. She got home, dumped her (somewhat of a jerk) of a boyfriend (her words, not mine...) and is already thinking about quitting her job to travel more - possibly scheduling a stop in Dalian ... just because it's a lovely city, of course.

After our short goodbye, I got an hour or so more sleep and then headed to The Summer Palace with the remains of the crew (now down a Sam and up a Tom). After an hour and a half on the city bus, we reached the gates of the Summer Palace - a huge park in the northwest side of the city where the Emperor would go to escape the city's summer heat. We had no such luck with hot weather though, and for the first time since I got to Beijing, I needed more than a sweater - and sadly was without my jacket. Approaching the gates we were hit up by some vendors selling things from plastic bags. The one guy had these Russian-esque type hats and we all sort of just laughed, until Martin bought one for 20 kuai. I figured what the hell for 20 kuai... and before we knew it, we all (except Tom, tragically the guy sold out) were looking very ridiculous, but feeling slightly warmer in our new style.

The day was mostly just us running around the park making goofs of ourselves - as you'll see from the photos. At one point I got swept up in getting my photo taken with Chinese people. One guy asked for a photo, and then suddenly it became THE thing to do... I considered charging. See Martin's photos on my photo page for the pics.

We got back and Tom, Martin and I went to try and fix my ticket. After nearly an hour of trying... we gave up and went for some hotpot... mmmmm hotpot. Sorry, I've been writing this for like 2 hours and am starving. Tragically, it's after 3 a.m. and I've no food in my apartment.

Thursday morning Martin and I returned to the train station, and with very little trouble at all (thanks to a note from the hostel and a helpful, if not glum, police man) got my ticket switched for that night. Yay, I wasn't going to lose my job.

My last day in Beijing was basically just a chance to clear up a few last things I wanted to see. First and foremost was the Mao Mausoleum (or Maosoleum) where a very waxen Mao Zedong lies in eternal greatness. We stocked up on Mao souvenirs and then headed to the Temple of Heaven - a park with more Chinese buildings. It was alright, but by this point, I just couldn't have cared less about it all. We headed to the market where I released the rest of my money into the economy.

A quick dinner with more Peking/Beijing Duck and I was off to the station, back on a train, asleep, awake, and home.

Geesus... I think I've lost all my "keep-it-trim" journalism training. I think I'll have to go back through this and see about inserting some bookmarks so anyone who can't read it all in one go can just click and return to it at any time...

In other interesting news, I'm getting a visitor. It looks almost for sure that my friend Sarah from Hamilton (I don't think she goes by any other name, it's always Sarah From Hamilton) is coming out in a couple weeks to visit me. I'm hyped. We'd been talking a while back about how with me living here it's a good opportunity for my friends to come and see the strange and backwards world of China, and she took the conversation seriously I guess. For a girl that's never been on an airplane before, it's a hell of a first trip, but once here she's got me to hold her and and make sure she's not sold as a bride in the countryside. Hmm... I am running low on cash.

Rockstar Pt. II

Alright, so the package I sent to Cass in December finally washed up upon those distant shores. I admit, after the fiasco of the box of Christmas presents I sent from BC to Ontario going missing at the Greyhound station (NEVER ship ANYTHING via Greyhound), my confidence in long-distant shipping had hit an all-time low. (how's your confidence in long-distance shipping? have you considered that lately?).

Anyway - so it arrived, and she seems to like the CD (as well as the plethora of Canadiana I sent her, including a bottle of the good ol' maple stuff). I admit, I was holding my breath a bit about the whole CD thing arriving... I'm not known for putting myself up for criticism.

So, what does this mean for anyone that happens to read this blog? Why, a link of course! I've put the album in MP3 form here on my site, and you can download it by going to the following link:


www.thehumanaught.com/music/music.html


For those that don't know, the album was just something I put together as a pet project to send to Cass. Cass, for those that don't know, is a friend of mine in Australia who despite having pronounciation problems, is one of the most amazing people I know. The quality of the CD isn't perfect, as it was recording on the very laptop I am currently writing this from using a couple microphones, a little USB device and not much recording know-how.

Well, I'm officially off work for two weeks. Does it seem to anyone else that I don't do a whole lot of actual work? I always seem to be off for a week or more. Anyhow, I have taken a week off of school and will be heading to The Northern Capital, Beijing, Friday night. I'm meeting up with my friend Martin, whom I met last year in Thailand. It was originally supposed to be a three-person reunion, but our friend Jin from S. Korea can't make it.



Martin and myself in the thick of the Full Moon Party on Koh Phangan.


I've been cruising Web sites all day trying to get a scope of what to budget for the trip - and think it should run me about 2,500¥ (or about $370) including train there and back, hotels for the week, trips to the Beijing Opera, Great Wall, etc. Regardless - I'll have LOADS of photos upon my return.

Oh, also... should anyone need my phone number... it is 0086 411 87710562. I had to sort out the country code and all that for my Aunt, as the family is giving me a call on Easter - and figured that if anyone was actually ambitious enough to crank call me in China, hell, everyone can do with a heavy breather now and again.

Hit up Dalian last night with the 'new' crew. Finally got to meet "Peanut Girl", as Lorna's roommate Alice has been affectionately dubbed. Despite her allergy to one of China's most commonly used ingredients, she is quite cool indeed. I mean it takes balls (nuts?) to come to China with a peanut allergy.

We ended up at a bar called Noah's Ark near Renmin Guang Chang (People's Square) and it was awesome. Relatively cheap booze, a live band, a HILARIOUS Chinglish menu (Sex On The Beads, Spite and God on Gin are the only ones I remember now), and a full on bar fight that involved loads of shouting, chairs flying, a bloodied head (he's alright, don't worry) and the police. No idea what the deal was - but the bloodied guy seemed somewhat impressed when I indicated to the jerk that started it and said, "ta shi ar bai wu!"

As for the lao peng you (old friends)... Lorna has shipped out to some mountain near Shanghai for the week and I've not heard much from Vanessa and Alan lately, but assume that they've been just as busy as me with classes on the weekend. There's a bit of a St. Patty's Day party in the works, and I must remember to give them a call tonight and let them know about it. Apparently there are a few of us singer/songwriter guys here... so we might do some live music for the event. It should be a blast, as we've got Emma from Dublin and Tim from Boston to give it that Irish flav.

Alright... time to find some food... Maggie gave me some new dishes to try out at the restaurant, and I'm eager to taste them.

Rockstar

So, I've been thinking about it and I've decided that I don't want to be a rockstar. I know, I know... you're all probably say, "But Ryan... you were well on your way, why? WHY?"

Well, I've given it a lot of thought, and living in Jinzhou has given me some insight into the celebrity life. The comparison of being a foreigner in Jinzhou and being a rockstar, may at first seem a little strange, but bear with me.

1) You get stared at wherever you go
2) Everyone wants to be your superficial friend
3) Girls like you, despite how you look and act
4) Everyone thinks you're loaded, even if you're not
5) You eat out every night and take private taxis (ok it's no limo) everywhere
6) No one will tell you you're wrong
7) You can virtually get away with anything
8) People will 'like' you even if you don't develope any sort of hygenic routine
9) You never know if people are your friends or just around you for the novelty/money

I can really see how foreigners from places where they never really fit in would come to China and really like it. It's a country that prizes geekiness and overweight is considered 'strong'. Unfortunately this does lend itself to a collection of right weirdos here. However, I've been lucky to have met some of the exceptions.

Tuesday Emma and I caught a taxi into Dalian and I got my DVD shopping done at Victory Square. In the process I lost Emma, but eventually located her - now accompanied by two rather attractive British girls. The girls, Natalie and Liz, are friends from London whom Emma had met during her training. Aparently she had run into them in the KFC washroom (as ya do).

As we were chatting, and waiting for Alan and Vanessa I see Lorna walk by... I mean, really, beleive it or not, there ARE 5.6 MILLION people in this city. Shortly after, Alan and Vanessa arrived, Lorna, Liz and Natalie left, and we headed to Donghai Park.

The park is a hilly coastal area at the south-eastern edge of the city. We were a bit surprised by the 10 RMB pricetag, but I think it was worth it. The whole place is just littered with these huge, completely random statues of marine life. We had heard from Lorna that somewhere in the park was a "MAGIC SLOPE" - somewhat akin to Moncton, NB's Magnetic Hill.



[1] The rather tall Alan lending perspective. [2] I dunno, flying fish?




[1] Alan drivin' his woman around on his ultra-hip ride. [2] These two Adam and Eve Buddha statues are hilarious, mainly because Adam's unit is well shined from people constantly rubbing it - hense the stupid-ass grin on his face.


The way Lorna had touted it, we were expecting about a 45-degree grade where the mystical powers of the mountain could pull things like busses, semis and the likes up at high speeds... However after hiking all the way up the mountain we came to a small, semi-flat bit of road with a sign that declared that this was indeed the spot. As we tried to figure out the "magic" to the slope, some cars came up and performed for us. We weren't entirely sure what was happening until the cars, ever so slowly, began to roll down the slop. The grins from the passengers led me to believe that perhaps you need to be in a car to "feel the magic", as from where we were standing, they were definitely rolling DOWN a slope... not UP.




More strange sculptures... and I am reasonably certain that those trees in the distance are actually fake.


We soothed our disappointment with the killer view of the sea, and returned to the city to meet Emma's other friend from training, Justin from Newfoundland. The five of us headed to my (and now Alan and Vanessa's) favorite Japanese noodle bar for some dinner. After dinner Alan and Vanessa had to rush off to their Kung Fu lesson, so Emma, Justin and I grabbed a few drinks to kill time before meeting Natalie and Liz at a club called DNA.



Some snaps of Emma, Justin and I at a little pizza place by the Shangrila Hotel.


At DNA we met Liz and Natalie, and all got to know each other a bit better. Turns out they're (or at least Natalie) from Wimbleton and were quite surprised when I told them I had family in Morden (only like two stops down the line). Natalie is actually quite famous, having played a "clapper" in the recently made movie Wimbleton. Her scenes, mostly co-acted with rubber dummies, really tested her craft, requiring her to both clap and follow the ball. Tragically it would seem that her parts were cut from the film, or so her friend said, as she's never actually watched to see for herself.

When DNA got a bit boring and loud, Justin suggested we meet some of his friends up at a bar called The Box. A 32 RMB cab ride later (geezus, it didn't cost Emma and I that to get into Dalian) we were in a quite cool bar and I was listening to Big Sugar, drinking Canadian club and chatting about the subtleties of Crown Royal with three other Canucks. Crazy.

I also may have managed to convince Natalie and Liz to come visit Jinzhou. What to do with them if they actually come is another story... the charm of Jinzhou is tough to really display to someone.

Unguided Sympathy

So, I stumbled into Serena, my friend and TA, online last night. I had been meaning to call her because she had missed my class with her on Sunday, and the sub TA told me that she had an emergency. Having not heard anything from the school, I assumed it was a minor emergency. I was wrong.

Turns out when she was in class with me on Saturday her father seems to have suffered a heart-attack and has died. I met her mother a few times, but never met her father, but I can only imagine what this means for her family. In fact, I can't imagine what it means to her family. I think her mother is retired, and her father was the one bringing in the income. I felt a bit foolish offering my sympathies, it always just sounds so empty - I mean...

Anyway, I think my laundry has finished spinning "dry" - time to put it on the radiators and see about heading into Dalian. I think Emma and I are going there today - she to visit some friends, me to see about some DVDs.. (yes, yes, I know it's a sickness) and some new slacks. I think I'm picking a bad to do any shopping, as it's Women's Day... and aparently that translates to loads of deals for women, and f'all for us blokes. Ah... the celebration of equality and womanhood.

Things have warmed up quite a bit the last two days, and I've officially switched to Spring-jacket mode. I have that knot in my stomach that I'll be taking my winter coat of the hanger again soon enough... but it's been just beautiful out.

Oh, I was also told yesterday that Emma will be taking over my A5/A6 class, which initially bummed me out a bit as I like teaching the adults. But turns out that it was to make time for me to teach an English class to a business in Kaifaqu. I'll be teaching 20 or so employees of one of Dalian's largest companies about four hours a week, plus I get picked up in a car and driven to Kaifaqu... haha, too cool.

The Military Sessions

So... today was a bit of a trip. The first day back at school after nearly a week holiday, plus all new classes was bound to make it an interesting event - but ending it with the witnessing of an Irish girl doing some recording sessions with the Chinese military... now that was just bizarre.

I've done bugger all with my time off - aside from whinge about how crappy I've felt. Whatever that bug was, it really did me and my digestive track in. I've nearly recovered - but the hesitation and anxiety have me in a tight and furious grip to not sterilize everything with a combination of bleach and a blow torch.

My new roommate, Emma, arrived the other day - and it's been cool having someone around. I am a bit worried that I've become used to my solitary life and might not enjoy having someone around all the time, but I think I'm pretty adaptable - so it should be alright. Plus, it's nice to have someone to watch crap Chinese TV with. Though curbing the walking around in my long johns, and not much else, is proving a challenge.

So, today was my first day back at classes. The Spring term classes are generally much larger than my Winter Intensive classes - so it's taking a bit to get used to and set my class pacing. Out of the 12 students I taught over the past six weeks, I've got seven of them in my new classes. In fact, my entire C5 (the KFC crew) class in now in my one C6 class - I adore them though, so I'm happy as can be about it.

Another interesting thing is that I've got Serena for four of my classes over the course of the weekend. I don't think any other teacher has the same Chinese Teacher so many times. I had mentioned off-handedly to Allison, the now-broken Teacher Trainer, that I really liked Serena and thought she was an excellent CT - guess she mentioned (as I sorta hoped she would) this to Sherry. I was a bit worried that Serena might not make the cut in the new semester because there was previously some mention of her English not being good enough - but I had said that it was never a problem with me and that she was an awesome teacher (which she is, I really do think she's better than any of my other CTs), and viola... she's now one of the CTs with the most classes. I really did miss her over the break... so it's nice to see her again.

She's back in Uni now for art, and as promised she's asked one of her friends to paint me some Chinese art. She's also going to bring me down to the school to show me how things are done... I'm hyped!

Anyway... back to Future School. Having nearly my entire schedule squeezed into Satuday and Sunday is a bit different. It's cool because I do seven or eight hours of teaching/day on the weekend and then get most of the week off. It made for a long day today though. Then I, somewhat on a whim, asked to tag along with a little project our manager Sherry has set up for Emma. Apparently a business was looking for a female voice to do an English recording for some product info and they came to us with it.

As we discovered getting into the jeep piloted by a guy in camo fatigues, the "business" seemed to be the Chinese military. Aparently they've developed this AMAZING new nailer/puller device that they're going to be showing at a Paris expo sometime soon - and they needed an advert recorded in English for it, and Emma fit the bill. The recording was done twice, and for the second time Sherry and I were asked to leave the room - I don't know if it actually had to do with the fact that I was nearly in tears from laughing, but it would not have surprised me. Honestly, the "script" (and I DO use that term loosely) was just as crazy as most the English translations here. Emma and I both agreed, having read the thing at least three or four times, that we were absolutely no closer to understand what the hell it was that was being talked about.

If I can get my hands on the text - I'll see about posting it here...

Anyway... it's been a day... time to get some sleep.

Oh, here is the one photo I've kept forgetting to post:


A5/A6 Class: Lucy, Tina, Rosie, Me, Dana, Angela, Herman, Cookie and Jessica.

Crazy Taxi

It's an unfortunate limit to my Chinese that I don't know how to say, "I'm sorry sir, but I don't think this is a road."

I just returned from Dalian where I had dinner (complete with a mystery "meat" dish that resembled cartilage in texture) with the remainder of our group - Lorna, Alan and Vanessa. I was hoping to bring along Emma, but I discovered that she is actually arriving tomorrow, not today.

As Alan and Vanessa live in the far north end of Dalian, I figured, what with the time of night and no train schedule, that I may as well flip for the expense of a taxi ride back to Jinzhou. Alan said that it had only cost them about 35 kuai previously... which is about $5. Even at night-time rates I figured it was worth avoiding the hassle of the train... especially if I had missed the last one.

It wasn't really until we started slowing down on the highway to read the signs that I began to wonder if my driver really knew where Jinzhou was - never mind my address in Jinzhou. It was after the "... I don't think this is a road..." moment but before the big dusty tunnel turn around that I was well certain we were lost. If there had been any doubt left, the stopping to ask two guys riding their fruit carts home(?) on a dark and lonely road where Jinzhou was (thinly disguised in a "where is Sheng Bin?" - I mean, there was no city to be seen at this point.. asking where my apartment was seemed sort of otiose) put all my doubts to rest.

However! I did eventually make it home. Well after the meter hit 60 RMB, reset itself and started counting again. I imagine it was up to about 75 or 80 when we finally hit the train station in Jinzhou and I could see Sheng Bin in the distance. I kindly explained to the guy (miming "we went around in circles!") that I wasn't going to pay more than 50 kuai.. and I felt that was being generous... but after having had to contemplate walking in the cold Liaoning countryside at night ... I was just happy to be home. I'm getting myself a train schedule.

We've Got An Allison Down!

I considered entitling this entry "Take It Easy" as I've got that Eagles' classic stuck in my head... not anything but the "Runnin' down the road, tryin' [not] to loosen my load..." line... as I seem to have developed a bit of food poisoning.

I've tried to narrow down when exactly I faltered in my tight routine of safety towards food... and then I realized I had not really been sticking to one. So, best I can figure it was either the raw oysters Sunday night, the undercooked kebabs last night, or the fact that I use the tap water to brush my teeth. Trust me, all these habits have been rectified.

It's a shit (gufaw, gufaw) way of spending my little vacation between semesters... but should I survive, you can bet I'll be a bit more careful with what I ingest.

So, it's Tuesday night (I love writing the time as it always makes me remember to change the Blogger auto-date thing, as it's always about 14 hours off). Tom left for Inner Mongolia (via Dalian) yesterday and between sobs of sorrow, I nabbed his room. It didn't take me to move all my stuff across the apartment, and I'm quite happy about the change. I've got loads more places to pile crap in this room. I've got an extra table, a bench... more floor space... luxury, I tell ya.

I was originally told that Emma would be arriving yesterday, but have since discovered that she'll actually be coming tomorrow. I admit I do have my concerns that she may be a 65-year-old Latvian, what with Future School's attention to detail.

Also, the temporary Chinese roommate who was to arrive Friday is also coming tomorrow. It's like a science to these people, I tell ya.

So, anyway, enough about loose movements and unknown roommates... happier topics abounded this weekend. For a series of going-away parties, they were actually quite joyous. That's right, I used joyous, what of it. Saturday I, now a seasoned train-rider, went to the train station to grab a ticket to Dalian to meet the crew for a night on the town to say goodbye to Brian, Joanna, Andrew, Christie and Josh. I got there extra early, not wanting a repeat of last week's lateness. After a mad search, and a flummoxing conversation with some Chinese people, I managed to find out where to buy the tickets. Confident, I walked up to the ticket person and said, "Yi ge Dalian." A stream of Chinese flowed from her, but no ticket. So, cocking my head, smiling coyly... I again said "Yi ge Dalian..." While elbowing this old lady trying to butt infront of me. Now it was the ticket woman's turn to smile ... and again spout Chinese, but no ticket.

With a look of sympathy mixed with a complete lack of patience she shouted for a cute girl in a train-station uniform to come over. The girl simply said, "It's late." Not having many options, I said, "Mei wen ti (no problem)", got my ticket and returned to where I had seen a couple hundred people waiting to get on trains.

After a bit of waiting I begain to realize that the track directly outside where I was standing would be the one going north, the opposite direction of Dalian. After another 10 minutes of wandering, I returned to the crowd, somewhat defeated. I decided to try the "Information" desk... Showing her my ticket, I'm sure she very nicely told me where to go - unfortuantely, my Chinese... her English. After some goofy, over exagerated miming with an old guy a young lady in the crowd came over and tried to sort out what was going on. Gambling, I cautiously asked, "Do you speak English?" And the sweetest voice answered, "A little."

To cut an extremely long story long, I met up with the Dalian crew in Zhongshan Square about 15 minutes late - with promises from them all that they'd be sure to tell me the meeting time was an hour earlier next time.

I was a bit surprised to see our Teacher Trainer, Allison, and her husband along for our gathering, but by all accounts I had heard that she was a lot of fun and wanted very desperately to live down that "Teacher Trainer" title. We headed back to Lorna and Andrew's flat where we killed a case of beer, a bottle of baijiu, a bottle of Korean soju and some rum. As we were getting ready to leave to find a KTV or some other equally inebriatedly-fun place to get more booze, Allison stood up and promptly let gravity take her back to the floor.

At the time it was sort of a slapstickish moment... but I just got off the phone with Vanessa and she told me that not only did her ankle break, it broke in three places and she's got pins in it now. Apparently she might be heading back to the UK as soon as possible. I can't believe we broke our trainer. Even more interesting will be how the new teachers get their training this Thursday and Friday.

The rest of the night was all taxi rides, rushing to find a bathroom (making me wonder if I got this bug that night), drunken duets of Del Shannon's "Runaway" and more taxi rides.

I crashed at Alan and Vanessa's, as they promised after I very drunkenly and seriously asked Alan, "Tell me man, where am I going to be more comfortable sleeping tonight?" Having seen the bench-like couch at Andrew and Lorna's... Alan confidently said his sofa was better. And at the risk of offending Andrew and Lorna, I agree.

Sunday we lazed around their place until the middle of the afternoon, when we headed down to Victory Square to meet Andrew and Lorna for some DVD shopping. Heading back to Australia, Andrew wanted to grab a few last minute copyright infringments at the $1 price-tag. Never one to pass up an opportunity for DVDs.. I also grabbed a few.

I got back to Jinzhou just in time to find out there was no water to take a much needed shower, and head off to the school for my second farewell party. Tom, Momo, the Matthews and myself joined with most of the school's staff and we headed over to a hotpot restaurant for some food (incl. the raw oysters). After dinner we went to a local KTV - I think I'm actually getting better at this. I've always hated karaoke beacuse I have always found it really hard to find my singing groove when I'm not playing the guitar along with it.


Ok... from left to right: Daniel, Maggie, Momo, Summer, Olivia, Zach, Annie, Matthew & Matthew, Mary, Me, Tom, Doris, Matthew Hao and Helen.

It was cool because we had the Chinese people with us, so we had a number of Chinese songs being sung as well. It also didn't hurt that I was, somewhat non-coincidently, seated next to Maggie... whom I've developed a huge crush on, you know, the type of crush that you only get on completely engaged Chinese girls... we've all had those right?

So... if you managed to read all that in one sitting - kudos to you... that was a hefty entry. I would make them smaller and more frequent, but some days it is a right pain in the ass to get on here. I literally just sit there hitting the refresh button repeatedly for 10-20 minutes. Oh, one thing I keep meaning to mention, everyone knows you can click the photos and see a bigger version right? I add this HTML code every time, it'd be a damn shame if no one was using it.

Oh, one more note. Sorry if you ever see glaring speeling arrors or omission of information... I usually notice it, but for all the trouble it takes to get to the Blog Posting screen to begin with, it is 10x the trouble to get to the Edit function.