Try This Trick And Spin It

I guess I've been a little skimp in the posting department for the last few days, but it's not for lack of things to say, just really no idea how to say them.

The most interesting things (Dalian Beer Festival, finally finding a beach with sand, phone calls from Cory and Cass, eating great Sichuan food two nights in a row) all take backseat to the crappiest thing... the situation with Mandy.

Please don't misread this as me saying that she's crappy in anyway, but rather just as a general statement towards any sort of long distance relationship. I've always been very against them, but just sort of let this one happen (as that's the easiest thing to do isn't it), and now I'm not sure about any of it.

The thing is, I just don't like what long-distance relationships bring out. I don't know if it's true for everyone, but in any example I've been given (and certainly with me and mine) it brings out the worst. Confusion, insecurity, jealousy.. continually wondering what the other person is doing. Are they having more fun than you? Should you be having more fun to show you can? Etc. ad nauseam.

Couple this with a few other things and basically I'm on the line of bailing on the whole sitch. I long ago gave up in believing I actually have a say in anything to do with me and my heart - it's going to do what it wants and it's willing to inforce that. So, as such, I don't have any "real" idea what the result of this will be, but right now, after just finishing a bit of a chat with Mandy, I'm not feeling confident about it.

Other than that load of blog-filler, life in Jinzhou has remarkably improved with the addition of Freddy - not least of all because he's just a blast and always up for a good time, which reminded me that I can be too. It's funny how the bitterness of being in a rather rough environment can make you forget the important things. We hit the Dalian International Beer Festival last Thursday and inspite of falling and hurting my foot a bit (c'mon, it IS a beer festival), it was a rockin' event.

Sadly, I (as has been common lately) forgot my camera so didn't capture any of it aside from in my rather unreliable memory. Basically, my expectations of a "beer festival" were low, especially when we were informed it cost 20 RMB to get in and that didn't give you any free beer. However, upon getting into the thick of it I realized it was well worth it. Basically it is set in the centre of Dalian's biggest square, Xinghai Sq., and contains 20-some-odd stages that blast music, singers, dancers and games at the better portion of the Chinese population (and a load of foreigners) until the wee hours of the morning. The highlight was Freddy, Kaiko (possibly the coolest Chinese girl I've met) and myself being invited to go dance on stage (to which I declined, refusing to be any more of a spectacle for the Chinese audience). They busted their move and when it came off the stage I joined in the fun. It was great and I hope to get down there again before it shuts down on the 8th.

Friday was another first. Freddy, Kaiko and myself hopped in a cab and headed to a beach just up the coast a bit from Jinzhou. I was pleased right away when I saw it had real sand. I've been searching for a beach that wasn't littered with annoying rocky-pebbles for the better part of a month. We sat down there and played some guitar until well after sunset, and were treated to a small fireworks display to sweeten the deal.

It looks like this Thursday the Future School 5 crew are heading down to the beach to celebrate the foreign teachers' approaching departure. I'm pretty certain the majority of the staff cannot swim, so we'll see how it comes off.

And Who Said There's No Easy Money?

Dear friend,

I want you to patiently read this offer that will
surely benefit both of us. My name is Chris Livingstone.
I am a Lawyer and a native of Durban in
South Africa. But I am currently in England for this
transaction I am about to disclose to you. I got a
good piece of information about you during my search
for a trust-worthy and honest person in a foreign
country who can handle this confidential business with
me.

Through the smuggling and selling of diamonds from
South Africa to England, I was able to make $10m cash.
The money is currently kept in a security company here
in England, as I cannot go to the bank because the
money is too big and the source cannot be justified. I
want to now move the money out of England for proper
investment in real eastate, tourism industry and palm
products in countries like Malaysia, Indonesia,
singapore, Hong Kong, China, Taiwan, India, Pakistan,
Sri Lanka, Nepal, korea, UAE and other countries like
Australia, Russia USA where such investments will be
good and profitable. This is why I decided to contact
you. I want the money to be moved out of England to
your country where you will receive it and keep it
until I come over to meet with you in your country.
All plans and arrangements have been on how to move
the cash from England to your house or any hotel you
wish in your country.

For assisting and also helping me in investing the
money in a business that will bring quick and good
profits, you will benefit a reasonable part of the
total money. I also have plans to giving some part of
the money to the Tsunami victims and other Charitable
Organizations.

Please reply this message as soon as you read it to
let me know your mind on this proposition. Send me
your private phone, fax and mobile phone numbers as
you reply this message. Once I am convinced that you
are totally willing to cooperate with me on this
assignment, I will give you my full contact details in
England.

Note that this proposal is a top secret and should be
kept confidential at all time.

While I hope to hear from you.

Best regards,

Dr Chris Livingstone
Email: askdrchris@yahoo.com
askchris@teenmail.co.za


And to think that this came from the junk mail folder of an e-mail I never give out other than for business/work stuff... hmmm.

Surfer's Paradise

I can't wait to arrive in Australia and surf. I mean, I've been surfing for years in a number of countries and I absolutely love it. In fact, far too much of my day is spent surfing, so I'm pretty damn good at it. It helps that a couple years ago I had a job that paid me to surf, and that really developed my skillz.... sorry, what?! You are supposd to surf where? The ocean? But aren't there things in the ocean that have both intentional and accidental ways to cause you huge amounts of bodily pain? I'm much happier sitting in front of my computer, thank you.

And so it is that I continually come across loads of interesting reads, listens and looks (can you say looks? or listens for that matter?).

On today's menu are:

A) Tubes really are cunts. So are terrorists. And Tony Blair.
A first-hand account from a blogger who was one Underground car away from mixing body parts with a terrorist.
[Click Here]

B) The Logic of Suicide Terrorism
An insightful interview with the author of "Dying To Win", a book about the real motivations behind suicide attacks and how and end can be put to them.
This wealth of information creates a new picture about what is motivating suicide terrorism. Islamic fundamentalism is not as closely associated with suicide terrorism as many people think.
[Click Here]

C) Starry Night Photomosaic
A lighter link - it is Van Gogh's famous "Starry Night" in photomosaic form - pretty damn cool. Photomosaic, for those that aren't hip to the term, means it is made up of a gazillion little photos. You can zoom right in and see them all.
[Click Here]

D) Imagine...
A nicely done mix of George W. singing Imagine.
[Click Here]

Browsed, Budgeted ... just not Bought

In the shadows of palms (Ko Wua Talap). ©Ryan McLaughlin 2004

I've spent most the time since I returned from work tonight browsing Web sites and crunching numbers to give myself a clearer picture of what to expect over the next couple months.

First up is to get some idea of when I'm actually going to leave Jinzhou. Vanessa arrives on the 23rd of August and my classes end on the 28th. So, I think we'll leave first thing on the 29th to get in to Shanghai mid-day on the 30th (24h train ride). The other option is to take a plane, but it depends on the fiscal difference.

Vanessa flies out of Shanghai on September 2nd, so I guess I'll take my leave of China then too and head to Thailand. The plan was to fly to Thailand for two weeks, return to Shanghai and get a return ticket Shanghai-Melbourne-Shanghai because I've been told it's much easier to enter Australia with proof you're actually leaving again. However, I've since realized that to re-enter China I need a visa, whereas if I just save myself a return trip to Shanghai I can fly from Thailand (return) and have my way out of Oz with no worries about visas.

As for how I'll spend my time in Thailand, I think I'll spend a few days with my friends in Bangkok, spend a week on a beach on Koh Chang (and island in the gulf) and then return to my friends for a couple days before departing towards the southern hemi.

All this planning has got me wanting it all to happen now. But well, for the time being I'm still in Jinzhou... and damn is it hot. The heat broke tonight a bit with some showers, but the humidity is enough to prune your brain. The worst part is that the school is as a disaster as ever. What was mass construction for the last few months is now a constant and unbiding battle with the A/C, or lack there of. The problems are being blamed on the building being wired to a different amount of wattage than is required - and lack of construction/electrical standards REALLY wouldn't surprise me, but it all just seems a bit convoluted when I ask for an explanation. Though this could be passed off as a "language barrier" I think it's got a lot more to do with those who should be fixing it having no idea how to fix it.

Well, I was supposed to meet Mandy online, but she's been coerced into going to KTV with her friends, so I think I'll put in a long over-due call to Vanessa and when I discover that she's likely at work all day... I'll sit down and finally watch a DVD Matt's been telling me to watch for about a month.

Oh... watched the entire fourth season of The Shield this week... damn does that show kick ass. It kills me that I have no choice but to wait until 2006 (along with all the other fans) to see what happens next. I liked it much better when it was just a matter of waiting for someone to dub it onto DVD.

And for any bloggers, or would-be bloggers here in China... check this out:
Who Not To Blog With If You Want To Be Read In China

And happy birthday Sarah.

Missin' The Man

And wouldn't you know it... I've got a new roommate. Honestly, it seems that my school is about as consistant as my bowels. Fortunately I lucked out and Freddy is an awesome guy to share the place with. He's from Australia and has already given me some tips for good places to go once I get there.

We spent last night getting a bit saturated with the drink and then playing Jack Johnson tunes on my crappy guitar well into the morning. I'm realizing quickly that the only thing that makes waking up soaked in sweat to scorching hot weather worse is doing it with a soggy melon that spent the night introducing itself to Chinese beer (Canadian whiskey and Tibetan wine).

Well, Mandy's been gone nearly a week and I wish I could be all cool about it and say I don't miss her, but I do. It's a really odd thing getting into a relationship with someone and then having them leave ... it's giving me a cold dose of exactly what I'm going to do to her when I leave next month. I wouldn't trade what I've had with Mandy for anything but if anyone needs an advocate for avoiding romance while travelling... just raise your hand, I'm there. When you break up with someone there's a sense of finality to it, you might hope you'll get back together but the emphasis is definitely on the "it's over" thing. This, on the other hand, doesn't have that. One day she's here, the next day she's gone... no messy breakup, no angry words, no "I wish I never..." or "you're such a ...". I mean, I knew it was coming, but I didn't realize how much I had gotten used to her being around and how much I dug her company.

Anyway, this is sounding all weepy, and I hadn't intended on that. But well...

Oh... and as she gave me crap for not mentioning it the last time she called... thanks for calling and wishing me happy birthday Amanda! (Cass called too, but she never cares if I mention her - in fact I think any time she reads this site she is just looking with dread to see if I've written about her again).

Happy Birthday To Me

My neighbour Matthew's words keep going through my head... he told me several months ago that 28 is the year that you actually have to do the "When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things." thing. Now, if I bought in to half the stuff Matt told me, I'd be spending my days drinking hot water in the sauna - but there may be some truth to it.

What age is it that we go, "oh... so this is it, I'm an adult." I mean, I don't feel like an adult, most the time I don't act like an adult, I don't really live like an adult... but what the hell is an "adult" anyway? Responsibility? A robot has more every-day responsibility than most 9 to 5ers... It's routine, there's no challenge... the only "responsibility" they have is to show up. Nothing to that really.

Meh.

Regardless, I can cross another year off the advent calendar of my life, and the chocolate this year was a bit more bitter than usual. Mandy getting on a train while I write this is no small part of it, but being away from the people that matter most on a day that I'm usually surrounded by them makes up a good portion too.

My feelings today are similar to my feelings when I spent Christmas in Belfast a year and a half ago, and I guess there's little to be done about it but suck it up.

Having spent Thursday night roughly celebrating my birthday with my friends here, I've not got anything on the go tonight aside from hitting up a BBQ restaurant with Matthew and maybe breaking into the rye whiskey he bought me.

Oh, and if you've not scratched your head and asked, "what the fuc..." lately, check this out: www.republicofalberta.com/. I guess it's really only amusing if you're Canadian, but the next time a Chinese person brings up the Taiwan issue with me... I'll just say, "Hey, listen... we've got problems of our own!"

And in case you think I'm too down about my birthday... here is something from a post for last year's birthday (now with updates) that I just read and made me feel better about things:

So... some quick facts. Sure, I'm 28 - but what does it really mean?
A) I'm 10,220 days old
B) I'm 245,280 hours old
C) I'm 14,716,800 minutes old
D) I'm 883,008,000 seconds old (and letting more slip past doing these stupid calculations)
E) I've lived in 19 different houses in seven different cities (in two countries)
F) I've visited 10 different countries (+2 I don't count because it was just a stop)
G) I've had 13 different jobs (not incl. freelance)
H) I've touched both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans - been to both the East and West coasts of Canada and the US.
I) I've gambled in Vegas, climbed the Eiffel Tower in Paris, ate haggis in Scotland, road the rollercoaster on the Santa Monica pier, stood atop the Empire State Building, partied in Daytona Beach (3 times), talked religion in Belfast, drank pints in Dublin, ate pasta in Rome, prayed to Buddha in Thailand and bought Mao souvenirs a stone's throw away from the anti-Capitalist icon's body.
J) I've been to every province in Canada, with the exception of Newfoundland.
K) I'm a paid published music, travel and general interest journalist.
L) I've loved.
M) I've hurt.
N) I've loved again.
O) I have a lot of friends - some whom I have the misfortune of living very far away from.
P) I can play an instrument.
Q) I can sing a tune.
R) I know how to competently play poker and blackjack - but am lost at Roulette
S) I've attended two post-secondary institutions.
T) I've seen the tunnel between the House of Commons and the Senate.
U) I've sat in the Prime Minister's office and touched John A. MacDonald's desk.
V) I regret not being more involved in high school.
W) I am proud I was more involved in college.
X) I've read big books, seen old movies, been to ballets, musicals, the opera and plays.
Y) I have friends and family I can depend on because they love me.
Z) I have enough contentment for happiness and enough discontentment to keep me searching.

Hello Bachelor Pad

Right, that was short-lived. It would seem that our Jinzhou school doesn't have enough students enrolled in the summer intensive program to warrant having a teacher here... so, after not even a week here, it looks like Adria is moving out.

This has caused Sherry to deliver an early morning call to me today asking if she can change my contract to a Summer Intensive contract... but honestly, I am little interested in doing more hours for crappy pay. If they make me an offer that has the extra hours at no-less than overtime pay, perhaps I'll consider it.

Well, today is my birthday party. It looks like most of the people that are in town will be making an appearance. Sadly Natalie and Liz are in Beijing for the week and wont be able to make it. I'm sort of wishy-washy about the whole affair as I usually am when it comes to birthdays. This has the unique title of being my first birthday in a foreign country, but being away from home and my friends is a tough thing during the milestones - nothing a load of Chinese food and beer can't cheer up though.


R.I.P. Meimei

Goodbye Bachelor Pad

Well, if Mandy's near perpetual presence in my apartment didn't saturate it enough with estrogen, the arrival of my new roommate should do the job. Not that I'm complaining, this place is definitely in need of a woman's touch. I mean, I consider myself pretty 'in touch' with the more feminine sides of Ryan but at the end of the day I am a man and there's just some things girls know how to do that boys don't... such as how to properly throw a sarong to give a room some colour and how to use the right body washes so the smell lingers in the bathroom - covering the other odors that usually lurk there.

So... Adria arrived yesterday after a somewhat convoluted system of information from my manager. I swear they either don't tell her a thing or she pretends she doesn't know when I ask, but it seemed rather strange to me when she told me the other day that I'll be getting a new roommate the next day, but didn't know the age, sex or nationality of the person. I placed bets with Mandy that it would be a 50-ish Australian man. Mandy took it with her guess of a 23-24 year old girl, though she did say British and Adria's from America. Personally I think both our guesses had more to do with our fears than actual conjecture.

Adria seems to be settling in pretty good. I get the sense that she might start longing to return to Shenzhen soon, as Jinzhou is a far cry from the bustle of being able to boot over to Hong Kong for the weekend. The best was when Mandy suggest we take her to the Jinzhou zoo and show her the dirty monkeys (I added it also had a very pathetic bear!).

And speaking of Mandy... most of this week will be spent sopping up as much time with her as possible. She leaves this Saturday for her home in Guizhou, happy birthday to me. We've had our ups and downs over the past month and a half but we've settled into something quite lovely and I'm going to miss her a lot. It's little solace that she'll be back for a few days before I leave at the end of August, but it's enough to take a little of the acerb out of the moment.

Anyway, class in 45 minutes and I've not showered yet.

The Elderly vs. The Persecuted

I got this e-mail from my mom today, and though its intentions are good in that it is trying to raise awareness about the plight of the elderly in Canada - it really went the wrong way about it. Here is the original e-mail, which may have landed in your inbox recently as well.

It is interesting that the federal government provides a single refugee with a monthly allowance of $1,890.00 and each can also get an additional $580.00 in social assistance for a total of $2,470.00. This compares very well to a single pensioner who after contributing to the growth and development of Canada for 40 to 50 years can only receive a monthly maximum of $1,012.00 in old age pension and Guaranteed IncomeSupplement. Maybe our pensioners should apply as refugees!

Lets send this to all Canadians, so we can all be ticked off and maybe we can get the refugees cut back to $1,012.00 and the pensioners up to $2,470.00 and enjoy some of the money we were forced to submit to the Government over the last40 or 50 years.Please forward to every Canadian to expose what our elected politicians are doing to the over taxed Canadian.

Here is my response to my mom about it, which after writing I decided I'd make a post out of, incase anyone else is misled about this.

Hey Mom, don't spred propaganda leaked on to the net by right-wing hate groups and generally very ignorant people using some really crappy math and economics. The population of refugees in Canada is about 50,000 (according to Amnesty Intl.) and the population of people 65+ is about 4,000,000. If we give each refugee an allowance of $2,500 - that's $125 mil./mo., whereas using the same amount if we were to give that to pensioners (4mil X $2,500) it would be an even $10 billion/mo. Put those numbers over a year, assume the average refugee stays on the allowance for not more than a year or two and do the same math with the figures for the elderly who will be on their assistance for possibly 10-20 years or more - and you can't compare these two things even remotely.

Add to this that most refugees only stay on the allowance for a limited time and then create tax paying businesses as well as Canadian-hiring jobs or at the very least get tax paying jobs themselves - saying they don't contribute to Canada is bull. They come to a country out of fear of persecution or death from their home country, they usually have nothing and obviously need some assistance to get an apartment, food, clothes, furniture, etc. The aged population often have saved assets, retirement plans, liquifiable assets (house, car, etc.) and family support.

Anyway, sorry to get so 'into' this... but that e-mail does nothing but breed hate towards something that makes Canada one of the best countries in the world. I'm not saying that the government shouldn't do something to pay retirees more (perhaps cut their own inflated salaries), but picking on refugees or immigrants in general is a slanderous thing that has no merit other than to spread xenophobic fear through the hearts of a bunch of red-necked whities. The only people in Canada who can complain about immigrants in Canada are the Native peoples, everyone else should just bugger off.

Here are some facts from Amnesty Intl. about refugees in Canada.

Common Myths About Refugees

MYTH: The refugee system lets criminals and terrorists into Canada.

FACT: The Canadian refugee determination system excludes people who have criminal or terrorist pasts.

While in the past, some human rights violators have made their homes in Canada, there are a few ways to address this issue. Canada has laws in place allowing for the prosecution in Canada of individuals accused of committing crimes against humanity, war crimes and torture abroad. However, the Canadian government has preferred to deport such people, rather than prosecute them. This is troubling when such people are deported to countries where they face a serious risk of human rights violations, or are likely to go unpunished for their crime.


MYTH: Refugees are a drain on our economy.

FACT: Studies show that refugees and immigrants contribute positively to the Canadian economy. Many refugees start small businesses that employ both themselves and "native" Canadians. In addition, immigration helps to offset the effects of our declining birth rate and aging population.


MYTH: Most "refugees" are really economic migrants – they come to Canada just to get richer.

FACT: It is not always easy to separate refugees fleeing persecution from others fleeing economic instability in the countries from which they flee.

An April 2003 study done by the U.K. based Institute for Public Policy Research (IPPR) found that the majority of asylum seekers are driven by "conflict and repression rather than economic factors...1

In a detailed analysis of refugee trends, the study concluded the ten most common countries of origin of asylum-seekers in Western Europe are linked by their chronic instability, rather than their poverty.


MYTH: Canada takes more than its share of refugees

FACT: Because of its geographic isolation, Canada receives a relatively small number of refugees. By far the largest number of refugees are in developing countries.

The majority of the world's refugees come from - and remain in - countries of the South. The following countries have each been hosting over a quarter of a million uprooted people: Congo/Zaire, Ethiopia, Guinea, Sudan, Tanzania, Azerbaijan, Germany, Russian Federation, Yugoslavia, United States, China, Gaza Strip, Iran, Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, West Bank, India, and Pakistan.

The equivalent figure for Canada was 48,800.

The number of refugees Canada accepts each year is less than a tenth of 1% of the population.2


MYTH: Canada's acceptance rate for refugees is too high

FACT: There is no "right" acceptance rate, only "right" or "wrong" decisions on individual cases. It may be true that Canada's acceptance rate is higher than some other countries. However, there are various reasons for this, including the fact that other countries may use a narrower interpretation of the Convention Refugee definition, have a politicized determination system or lack procedural safeguards. Some countries offer temporary protection, with limited legal safeguards, to people who seek refugee within their borders.

While each country's refugee determination systems are different, Canada's acceptance rates of refugee claims are comparable to the United States (58% vs. 52% respectively)

Totally Beachin'

Well, I wish I could go on and on about the exciting things I've done in the past week or so... but really it's just been about the beach. Last Thursday was the Future School BBQ/Beach Party and tomorrow I'm returning to the beach to even out my tan/burn.

The BBQ/Beach Party last week was a blast. The day was spent at a small beach just off Binhai Rd. I think it was called Golden Beach, but I'm not certain. We spent the day playing volleyball and drinking - two activities I'm not too shabby at.


[1] The Future 5 (aka My School) group. [2] Volleyball in full swing - my team took it in the end. Yeah, that's braggin', whaddaya gunna do about it? [3] Tim and Rebecca. [4] Nat and Liz warming up for the three-legged race.

The day also featured some excellent games (sack and 3-legged races) that I completely avoided. After the Future School-provided beer ran out we settled for purchasing our own (cold) beers at a local shop and continued the party. The day went long but continued to be a riot. Most of the other future school folks went home on the provided bus at about 5, but a good chunk of us lao wai stuck around until the evening before piling into taxis and heading for some dinner.


[1] The sack race. [2] The three-legged race. [3] The Beach. [4] The Crew.


[1] Annie, a woman from my school, making the trip to the beach edible. [2] As my father used to say in t-ball practice - 'focus on the ball' - right. [3] Myself, Justin, Natalie and Tim [4] Yeah, just try and hold back that smile Mandy... you're SOOOO serious.

Dinner was great and we capped it off with some karaoke. The best part about going to dinner with a group bigger than five is you're often given your own room and reserve the ability to make a complete ass of yourself just to the people you know best. After watching Justin show the side of the restaurant what he had for dinner, Mandy and I managed to find our way into a shared taxi back to Jinzhou and we left the rest of the group to their destination of JDs - a dance club that I really had no energy to visit after a day in the sun.


[1] Zach and Sarah - taken shortly before Zach had to leave due to an oozing wound suffered earlier in a heroic vollyball maneuver. [2] 'Like a virgin... touched for the very first time...' - Madonna never looked so good. [3 & 4] There are few men that look as graceful as Justin when they've been drinking.

Well - back to the beach tomorrow with some of the same group, guess I should get some shut-eye. Not really anything new or exciting to report, just been doing the same old same old. I started a new A7 class, with only two or three students, and it's pretty good, but other than that, nothing too new to say.

I guess the biggest thing that's on the horizon is my birthday and Mandy's departure. I finally got up the courage to tackle the "how we going to leave it?" topic last night... and surprisingly it didn't end with either of us ejecting ourselves from the apartment. We didn't come to any clear resolve as to how we're going to leave things when she heads for Guizhou in a week and a half. The problem is thus: she leaves a week from Saturday and doesn't return until a few days before I head down to Shanghai (and in-turn off to Australia). We both knew this moment was coming, but both of us are a little unsure as how to best deal with it... and as it's 1:30 a.m., there's a beach waiting for me tomorrow and a bed waiting for me now... I'm just going to put it off a bit longer.

Oh! Canada...

Right.. so I sorta missed Canada Day, but let's here it for time zones as it's just before 7 p.m. on my Nation's Birthday. Like the true patriot I am, I just wanted to say happy birthday to the big red leaf, even hough the day passed here without any fan fair (even if it's also a day to celebrate the formation of the PLA).

Just on my way to school, but I'll try to get some pictures up from my awesome day at the beach on Thursday. Future School through a BBQ for all the staff, and surprised us all when it actually turned out to be a blast - the free beer possibly having a large part to do with it.