Chinese Dragon Awakens

Awe crap...
China is building its military forces faster than U.S. intelligence and military analysts expected, prompting fears that Beijing will attack Taiwan in the next two years, according to Pentagon officials. [Read whole article]

Yeah, I know... American politics and media are full of paranoia, but still, this just makes me think back to a few weeks ago when I was telling Karen and Mandy that I was a bit scared after learning that America will mobilize its military should China use force against Taiwan. I think there's enough nationalism here and ignorance in both superpowers to have this happen, and I'd not really be surprised if China vied for the only global placement it feels it deserves - #1. It just makes me go all icky inside.

However, it does comfort me a little about not being allowed to go to Big Black Mountain (大黑山), as keeping foreigners out of a military area has a little more relevancy when put in this context. And here I thought they were just being silly...

A Box Of Goodbyes

[1] Me (looking squinty but damn happy) and Mandy. [2] When Blogs Collide - me and Derrick (a.k.a. Dezza).
So, Thursday night was the big farewell party at The Box for all the peeps that work(ed) as English teachers at Neusoft (a Dalian university). The term has ended there, and some of the key players in the Dalian social scene have left. Most significantly are Dean (Canadian), Dan (British) and Derrick (Canadian). Next term all teachers starting with the letter 'E' will be asked to leave as we move systematically through the alphabet.


[1] Mandy & Lorna. [2] Dean showing Alice how much he'll miss her. [3] Justin (pre-tears). [4] Nat and Alice.
Though all are cool guys, Derrick's the one I'll miss the most, as his blog (www.maskofchina.com) has become a staple of my routine, as has asking him random "how do you say this in Chinese?" questions. Honestly, he's been a constant source of information about China, and his blog was one of the key sites that finally sold me on coming to Dalian (which, despite the damn cold winter, I don't regret in the least).

The party was also a bit of an opportunity for Mandy to see that I do actually have some friends. Oh, and I got to play on a stage again... the sound system was a bit tough, and the noise-level of the crowd ruled out most the songs I planned to play, but it was fun.



The Players (sans me): Tim, Dan and JP (I am pretty sure, as I wasn't actually introduced to him).

We held in until about 3:30 a.m. and then headed to Justin's (via a cab ride filled with Justin's drunkin' sobbing about how much he was going to miss his friends) where we managed to catch about 3 hours of sleep before having to wake up so Mandy would make it to class on time.


Lean, Mean Dean and his stuffed toy tiger.

I was fortunate enough to get this weekend off (after swearing to Mandy about a week ago that I'll NEVER EVER get another weekend off). It was great having a few days in a row with no classes, but I'm certain it'll come back to haunt me when I have to make up a bunch of days of school in the sweltering sun of summer. The weekend was basically just spent doing next to nil with Mandy. Oh, yesterday we met up with Karen and her ex-boyfriend, He (prnounced: 'H-uh?'), for lunch. He's (I know that looks like he (hee) but it's not, ok) parents own a KTV in Jinzhou, so we killed the afternoon drinking beer, eating popcorn and fruit while singing our hearts out. I never thought I'd say it, but I might actually miss KTV when I leave in nine weeks. That's right folks, it's official, Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger spent more time together than I have left in China.

Oh, and on that note! Vanessa's coming to China! She messaged me the other day and told me it's all bought and paid for (can you have one without the other?). Though I think she already holds this title, she's cementing her claim as "friend I've travelled most with". Between visiting me in China and stickin' out four days in a car across Canada with me... it'll be a tough spot for her to lose. I can't wait to show her around Dalian, and as the plan stands, head to Shanghai for a few days where we'll catch our respective flights to Canada and Australia.


[1] Mmmm.. yi ping Qingdao, bing de! [2] Mandy smiling her approval of the party, and signing her approval of me taking her photo.

Peanut Gallery: Online

Right, so after a couple e-mailed comments from readers of the site, I got it through my rather thickset head that I should look into there possibly being a problem with my comments section - as I never get any.

I'm happy to report that it's fixed and you are all cordially invited to leave all thoughts, advice, corrections, complaints, recipies, etc. in the comments section of each entry.

And so this entry has at least something interesting in it:
The Origin of the Term 'Peanut Gallery'
Peanut Gallery is American slang dating to 1888 referring to the balcony section of a theater--presumably from hoi polloi eating peanuts in the cheap seats. The term was popularized in the 1950s by the television show Howdy Doody, in which the host Buffalo Bob would call the child audience the peanut gallery. In doing so, Buffalo Bob was combining two different slang traditions (peanut gallery as well as using 'peanuts' to refer to small people, aka kids).

Halfing The Count

So, in recent months I've really only had four foreign friends in Dalian that I hang out with. Lorna, Justin, Alan and Vanessa. Well, never have I had the population of my friends in a given demographic split so swiftly in half.

Under the cover of darkness, in a veil of secrecy that still has Future School reeling to discover how it could have happened... they slipped away on the sky boat back to New Zealand. I hadn't seen much of them lately, so I know I'll not miss them in my day-to-day life... but I did enjoy knowing they were there as they were a riot to hang out with. I don't know much about it, but I know that Alan's grandmother was sick, he had to leave, Vanessa disliked it enough here to not want to stay alone and they didn't want to risk any problems with visa-immigration, etc. I also know that the whole fiasco is the talk of Future School even way out here in Jinzhou... haha.

In other news, the spat finally ended. Sino-Canadian relations have returned to status quo if not improved a shade. Mandy came over last night and after a lot of walking around (both Jinzhou and the issue) we both said sorry, admitted that it shouldn't have been so heated and we're all sorted.

Oh, and it looks like I might get to brush off my 'live-performance' anxiety as there's a party at The Box in Dalian this Thursday and I was asked to play. Now, whether my lungs, well saturated with the fine quality air here, can push out a song... has yet to be seen ... ah, heard.

Drunk Monkey

As promised, here is a bit of a lighter entry. Though I'm not sure how easy it's going to be to write... as I'm currently in the process of arguing with Mandy on MSN. If ever there was a reason to never use MSN for communications, this would be it. Not sure how things are going to turn out... but right now it's not looking so good.

ANYWAY... the last two days have added two more unique experiences to my collection of things I've done in China.

The first was attending a graduation ceremony at Mandy's school. We spent the day in Labor Park (one of China's biggest parks? This is based on hersay, don't trust it) a big park in downtown Dalian. Though skirting it a number of times, and dipping into it last week at night, I haven't in my nearly half-a-year actually walked around it.

I must admit, I was a bit impressed. It's a nice park and is certainly a green refuge from the busy streets that surround it.



Labor Park

After the park we walked to her school and got seated for the show. The place was a chaotic disaster. It was about 45 minutes until 'curtain' and there were people running around, pushing through the crowd still putting up balloon decorations. It was student run, and that shone through, but all-and-all it was entertaining. What I thought was going to be a graduation ceremony, like with diplomas and hats and stuff, actually turned out to be more like public karaoke. Pretty much everyone who was graduating, and I'm sure a few who weren't, did performances. They ranged from pretty damn bad to likeable but it was all fun. The main reason I attended was to watch my friend Karen's dance number. It came near the end, so nixed any plans I had of ducking out early, but it was worth the wait... the routine was exactly that, but it was cool to see her shakin' her can, leading her 'crew'. As I've recently been calling her, she really is a lean, mean, dancin' machine.


Karen's the girl in the tube top - sexy, no?

Then there was yesterday... all I could assume about a Chinese birthday party was that there would be loads of food, loads of booze, karaoke and cake in the face. I was not let down.

I met Serena at the bus stop near her school at about 5 p.m. We stopped at a flower shop so I could buy Monkey (ok, this isn't her real name, but other than 'Raining Heart' I don't know what it is... and we all just called her Monkey anyway...) some lillies and a little stuffed monkey. We hit the restaurant and Serena led me to a private room in the basement. From there I pretty much just spent the next five or six hours eating, drinking and listening to more and more slurred renditions of Chinese musical classics.

I made the mistake of using facts instead of good judgement when answering the "how much beer can you drink?" question... this got me a LOT of shouts for "GAN BEI!" as everyone decided to see if my claims were true. All I can say is I walked out of that restaurant and safely got back to Jinzhou. That's one for the Canadians, but I'll not be answering "oh... I dunno, maybe eight or nine bottles" again... I'll lead off with two or three.



[1] The Drunk Monkey [2] Me eating cake for the first time with chopsticks. [3] The Drunk Monkey



I don't know anyone's name, so captions are pointless...


[1] Serena (left) and her friends singing karaoke. [2] Monkeyin' around.

So... finished the entry, 1 hour and 10 minutes. It's fun, it's got photos, it's not political or even very thought provoking... but it's finished. Now I just wish this damn MSN conversation was.

My World Is A Flood

Below the waterline: the final marks left by drowning primary school students.

At the risk of delving in to too political a topic as Chinese media censorship and what Western countries actually care about the deaths of children thousands of kilometres away, I felt the need to put something about this on here if for no other reason than to share a little bit of the grief that can't help but be felt when reading this. I mean, I'm not callow enough to think that this shit doesn't happen every day... but well, when it's only a train ride north from where you're living...

Essentially, about 6 days ago flood waters overtook the banks of a river in the northern-most Chinese province of Heilongjiang. The waters washed into the low-lying primary school and killed from 30 to 200 little kids. Below are several different perspectives on the issue. First is the CBC News site's report, taken from the Xinhua News Agency (www.xinhuanet.com/english) the CCP's mouthpiece to the world. The second is from a great blog that focuses on re-printing translated Chinese news articles (usually having grabbed them before they are blocked or removed from the annals of periodical history).

CBC Report on Heilongjiang Flood

EastSouthWestNorth Entry Re: Heilongjiang Flood

I promise a lighter entry tomorrow.

I'm Gay, Let's Gay

Nono, I'm not coming out of the closet. I, in fact, don't have a closet. But even if I did... that's not what this post is about. The title for the post simply comes from something Karen's boyfriend Sky aparently often says as a joke and it's caught on a bit with me - though I really have no idea what it means.

Anyway, to the point. I was talking to Mandy last night and we got on the topic of one of the biggest cultural differences between the West and China. Namely, sense of community. What is taught in China is that Western people look out for themselves a lot more and are more selfish, whereas Chinese people have a stronger sense of relationships with people and care about each other more.

So, where Chinese say Western people are self-centred and Chinese are communal, in the West we learn that we are individuals and that the Chinese have a hive mentality. It means the same thing, but the context changes depending on where the value is put.

I was looking for a way to illustrate this difference and coming home from work today I saw it. Two men on a bike. It is very common here for one person to drive the bike and the other person to sit on the little rack perched above the back tire. The man on the back of the bike had his arm unself-consciously wrapped around the other man's torso. You just wouldn't see this back home, really for any number of reasons, but mainly because male-male touching is a bit taboo. However, here it is the norm. It is completely common to see two men (or women) walking down the street arm in arm, with their arms around each other, or holding hands. Back home, this would be a sure sign that the men find safety in rainbows.

In Canada, and many Western countries, gay rights are a standard - and I, of course, completely agree that they should be. I was raised in a Western culture that teaches individuality over commonality. However, if gay rights ever take off in China (they've got a long way to go) I think it will do a lot to destroy this comfort men have here in being close to each other. Suddenly if their buddy puts their arm around them, the jesture will be suspect, just as it has become back home.

Now, I'm not really illustrating any of this to pass opinions of what's right or what's not. I personally think that it'd be nice if all people could be comfortable enough with each other to just relax and do whatever and not worry about what the other person's sexuality is. But, I'm afraid, that's just not the way it is.

So... what's better, a society where the individual is encouraged to do what they want, but hypocritically judged harshly by the general population for their actions (even if only in a passive sense), or a society where the alternative lifestyles of the individual are supressed and the community is comfortable being close to each other?

Proverbial Cats & Bags

Well, I question the wisdom of letting those at my school know that there's a bit of a girl in my life - alright, I know "bit of a girl" sounds a bit retarded ... but it works on the "oh, she's so tiny..." and the "ah... so you're not really 'together' then..." levels and I don't know how else to put it having lost most of my higher brain functions with the full day of school I endured today.

I wonder if I should have said anything about Mandy to anyone at school for the simple reason that news and speculation spreads about as quick as warm Nutella here. This isn't to say that girls are gossipy about other girls (that's just a stereotype, right?) or anything... but when a foreigner starts spending more than an average amount of time with a Chinese girl - I dunno... suddenly everyone is interested.

This week has been a bit dull for actual blog-type things to write about, but I guess I'll just do a quick re-cap and then go find some food. Monday and Tuesday just sorta passed, Wednesday I met Mandy in Dalian for some dinner and a nice walk in Labour Park. Thursday she came out to Jinzhou and I cooked her, Karen and myself a Thai curry. After dinner we went to a square not far from my apartment and watched people do some dancing. The cutest thing was this 4-year-old at the front of about 25-35 middle-aged people and she was doing all the dance moves bang on.

Karen, even without having really been told that anything was going on with Mandy and I, made what seemed like an early exit. The next day I left Mandy to her own devices and went to teach a new business class for an hour. When I got home we headed down to the school to pick up my pay (don't get me wrong, I love payday, but it's unnerving walking around with 4,000-6,000 RMB in my pocket). I tried to convince Mandy to come up and get a bit of a tour, but she seemed a bit hesitant to meet the staff.

The whole pseudo-relationship we've got going is a bit strange in this regard. A) we attract a lot of attention when in public. This (B) causes Mandy to get really uncomfortable if I hold her hand or anything like that. I understand it, don't agree with it but am sorta trying to accept it as best I can. I know it's not her fault directly, but I have never in my entire life been made to feel so aware of the colour of my skin as I am when I'm with her.

It's strange, because there is a social stigma attached to Western guys with Chinese girls. If it was any Western country no one would notice, or they'd at least try really hard to be discreet about it. Here though, the overtness of the public is startling and a bit stifling. The problems, as always, are in the assumptions, and the assumption is rarely that the two just generally like spending time with each other, have shared interests and dig one another.

I'm guilty of this myself, as whenever I see an older lao wai with a young (looking at least) Chinese woman... my initial thoughts are almost never those expressed in the paragraph above. I noticed it a while back, and it is rather ignorant of me to think like this. It cannot really be argued to harshly that the 'sugah-Westerner' isn't a reality, but as this experience with Mandy is really showing me... who the hell am I to judge anyone?

One other thing that makes Mandy one of the coolest girls I've ever been involved with: she gave no hesitation to informing me I should knock off a few pounds. Haha. I mean, alright, this isn't an open invitation or anything, but when was the last time you were with someone that was that open with you? Can you imagine doing the "Am I too fat?" question with your sweety and them giving you the bare-honest truth? Admittedly, I've gotten a bit of a thick skin when it comes to the "fat" word in China. I use it daily to describe myself, with a satisfied pat of my belly. Sometimes it gets a humouristic spin and gets called "strong" here... which is cute. But mostly, people just don't seem to tip-toe around the obvious as much as we do in the West.

Having said that, I need to write another entry about the 'face' thing and completely contradict myself.

Mandy's got the big, mighty CET (College English Test) this weekend, and so will be studying all week -- leaving me to hang with Matthew and DVDs, two not-so-bad sources of entertainment. One for the copious amounts of wit and humour... and the other because he's got a BBQ. The other thing I may have unwisely gotten myself into is taggin' along with Serena to an end-of-Uni/friend's birthday celebration in Dalian on Thursday. She's said that there've been claims that it's just going to be a solid night of drinking. At first I was all, "hell yeah... sounds fun!" but then Matthew put it in perspective. Uni girls, end of school, last time seeing each other, loads of alcohol... it's going to be a LOT of tears. However, I've never seen a bunch of Chinese girls pissed out of their heads... and Serena's not drinking, so she'll protect me from any potential sobbers I'm sure.

The Re-education of Mr. Mc

It's a bit embarassing that it took a, albeit cute, Chinese girl to teach me that O. Henry is one of North America's literary greats, and not, as I had thought, just a chocolate bar.

Mandy said she has read something like 100 novels of classic Western literature. Am I really this uneducated? I've not read anything close to that number. I mean I guess I suffer somewhat from having libraries full of other options, but I do feel a little uncultured. And so it is that I'm setting a new goal for myself. For every new-pop novel I read, I must read one book pre-1970 (I know, 35 years isn't technically 'classic' defining, but well...).

This week is college entrance exam week and about 9 million students are sweating their fake Nikes off in anticipation of being one of the 4.7 million that get to go to university. As any parent, teacher or survivor of the exams is happy to explain to the kids... it's the single most important test a student will ever take. Now, I don't know about all that - but it does decide whether the kid has the chance of getting a reasonable paying job or earns a rewarding, if not skill-transferable, carreer in sweeping highways.

I can't imagine having so much pressure put on me to succeed, as had there been, I surely would be broom-in-hand right now. The whole thing does make you realize how much of a safety net there is in Canada for fuck-ups. Whereas the Chinese government evokes a sense of "tough love" on the academic adolescence ('Get it right or you're screwed'), in Canada it's more that hippy parent that all the neighbourhood kids loved and all our parents hated. You know the one, lil' Willow would stay out all night and come home pregnant and sporting a meth habit, and her parents would just go... "Ok dear, I see how you're expressing yourself. I wish you would choose a different medium but I view you as a singularly responsible individual and will support you in any path you see fit to travel along. Want some nan bread?"

Anyway, I've been trying to get off this damn computer and into the bottle of wine I bought a week ago for about 2 hours now... I even bought French bread and cheese to go with it...

For those interested in the works of O. Henry, you can read a bunch of them at www.online-literature.com/o_henry/

Your Asian Eyes

Great, now I've got Corey Hart stuck in my head.

Anyway, not much to update really, as I've done bugger all this weekend, EXCEPT, complicated my existence here the one way I'm really good at complicating things - with a girl.



Mandy came over Saturday to spend the day... and left this morning (Monday). Now before I get a lot of gasps and/or high fives ... it wasn't like that. But we have spent an unnaturally long amount of time together and it was, more than once, sighed about that she's leaving in 6 weeks to return to the south of China and I'm leaving 6 weeks after that to go even further south.

I imagine it is a lot more than just her excellent English abilities that make her the most interesting Chinese person I've met thus far. And it's quickly turning out that she might be the only thing I really miss when I leave this place, well, her and the cheap DVDs... never say I'm not a romantic.

Roads Are For Sissies

Well, there's no doubt about it - the weather is finally hot. Aside from a new sheen of sweat and a bit of desperation to find some sandles, the heat has brought with it copious amounts of construction.

Along with the numerous buildings coming down and going up in Jinzhou, work on a light rail (sky train) between Kaifaqu (the Development Zone) and Jinzhou has begun. This is going to be awesome once it is completed, and I only wish that I hadn't been a year off in witnessing it. However, as it stands, Kaifaqu has been officially cut off from Jinzhou for this project.

First the main road between the two cities was blocked for construction of this thing, and then - ever so slowly - all subaltern roads have also been shut down. I'm not entirely sure from what high level the wisdom of this decision came from but it has led (and no doubt will continue to lead) to some problematic trips.

As previously mentioned, I'm doing some work for Shide Group, which is located in a place called Dalian Wan, half-way between Kaifaqu and Dalian. Recently they switched teachers for one of the classes there from Emma to a guy named Chris that works out of Kaifaqu, so now the car that picks me up has to head to the Development Zone to get him. So, as we were heading there the driver of the car found that the road was closed, and we went a different route. Finding that way shut off too, we again went a different way, until we found ourselves in the middle of this impromptu market made up of pick-up trucks instead of proper stalls. A bit of a dead end, the driver did the only thing he could... he pushed forward.

Soon we were pushing the VW's suspension (and my stomach) to the limit crashing and smashing through big puddles along what can only be called a semi-level bit of dirt. Eventually we got through, but on the way home we took a nearly just as convoluted route that involved going halfway to Dalian before getting to Jinzhou.

Then today Matthew told me that coming back from Kaifaqu he opted for a bus and ended up driving first through a garbage dump, and then through the small town-like settlement in the centre of it. This was after the bus driver completely killed the vehicle's shocks while off-roading it. He too ended up going most the way to Dalian before eventually getting back to Jinzhou. What is normally a 20 minute bus ride became a two hour tour of some of the lesser known areas that lie between Jinzhou and Kaifaqu.

Anyway, it's put a bit of a kink in my plans to head to the beach every free minute this summer, but I'm sure I'll work something out. Mandy's coming over tomorrow, so I should likely get some sleep. Initially Karen was supposed to be in Jinzhou too, but she had to stay in Dalian to do some dance thing at school. I managed to convince Mandy to come alone - with false promises I wouldn't sell her into the country-side. Anyone that doesn't know what I mean by this - you should read this.

Metro: An Island in the Chinese Sea

Right, I know - this is the third post today, but I just realized that I didn't really talk about the beautiful thing that Metro Supermarket is. I could have just tacked it on to that last e-mail, but it really deserves its own recognition.

Metro is a 'Western-style' supermarket in the north end of Dalian. I think it's Northern European in ownership, and certainly comes off as Ikea meets Zehrs (Zehrs is a Canadian supermarket, for all those that aren't from Canada).

I've meant to go there for a while now, as I've not met a Western person who didn't sing praises of it. Yesterday Mandy, Karen and I hopped on the light rail (sky train, meh) just behind the train station and road it one stop north (for 1 yuan). The girls were a little doubtful that I knew where I was going, as we had stopped to ask someone for directions on how to get there and they told us it was by Olympic Square. I was certain it wasn't anywhere near there, and when we got off the train and were immediately confronted with a huge blue building with bright yellow signs shouting METRO, I was vindicated.

To get in you have to sign up and get a free membership card, but then you're given free rein of the place and what a place it is. They've got cereals (not just one kind like in Kaifaqu), they've got bacon, pancakes, maple syrup (gimme a break, I didn't eat breakfast), and just loads of other western foods that are sparse at best in any other supermarkets I've been in. The big question was, did they have coconut milk, as that was my goal for going there - as that Thai curry paste Sarah brought me isn't going to make itself. And they did!! I stocked up on four cans, topped my shopping bag off with a Cab. Sav. (have I mentioned what Chinese red wine tastes like? Take your average glass of wine, add three tbsp. of sugar, stir) and some razors.

Mandy was sold on the place too when she found La Zi Ji jam (?) that she couldn't find anywhere else in Dalian. Basically it's this spicy chicken stuff from her home in Guizhou, a province in the south of China which is renouned for its waterfalls, beautiful scenery and abundance of poverty.

Anyhow - that's Metro. A big blue oasis of normality. I think I waited as long as I did to go because I was eager to really give the standard Chinese living a shot before jumping into the safety of things familiar - but as you may have noticed from recent posts ... I'm sorta done with that. Next trip I'll be picking up some Crown Royal and Honey Nut Cheerios.

Can't You Hear, Can't You Here The Thunder?

Dear RYAN MICHAEL MCLAUGHLIN,

This is to advise that you have been granted an Electronic Working Holiday Visa, Subclass 417.

This visa allows you to make your initial entry into Australia no later than 12 months from the date that this visa was granted. Your initial entry to Australia must not be after 31 May 2006.

This visa permits you to stay in Australia 12 months from the date that you
first enter Australia. It provides you with multiple travel to Australia, which
means that you can leave Australia and re-enter Australia as many times as you
wish during your 12 month stay. However, if you depart Australia during your 12
month stay, you are not able to recover the period of time you have spent
outside Australia.

You will not have a visa label placed in your passport when travelling to Australia. It is recommended that you print and keep a copy of this advice for your personal records.


Plus, rain cancelled the Children's Day event. Guess the little tikes will just have to wait until next year to learn about the wonders of Future English School. PLUS! I just got off the phone with my boss, Sherry, and she told me that she wants to cancel classes this weekend because the kiddies need to make up their school they've missed due to all the excitement that IS Children's Day. Doin' the happy dance. Look at me go.

A Cozy Red Blanket

Well, I'm sitting here after a long day of hanging out with Mandy and Karen in Dalian. I'm praying that this sudden storm keeps up and washes away any chance that I'll actually have to go through with performing English games on a stage in the middle of town for Children's Day tomorrow.

I've noticed that as much as I've been in China for nearly five months now I've really remained silent about the soul and culture of this country. Other than dropping hints here and there, I've not made much mention to anything.

This is due to several reasons, the first and formost being the Internet nanny who is right now cruising around looking for sites to shut down. Though considering I can read the Taipei Times, CBC News, and numerous other non-China manufactured sites... I'm not nearly as worried about this as I was when I first got here.

The other is not having any real idea where to begin. It's just a big, big thing that is muddled with tonnes of contradictions. I can say one thing, and find an example of the opposite tomorrow.

However - there's just no getting around it, this country is different. And I don't mean that in the 'hey, my cousin Ted is different, he likes eating lint and watching taped monster truck rallies on Fast Forward', but more in that 'Did anyone see that? That's screwed up' kind of different.

The problem is, it's impossible to give examples. I mean you can sort of give vague references, but as I wrote to Cass the other day, 'it's just glitches in the veneer that are all peripheral.' Everything is painted over with this normality that seems comfortable, but you just know something's not right.

I was really excited to come to China and get a sense of Chinese culture, but the biggest eye opening thing has been that culture is like an old tree here, it just doesn't exist. The trees were done away with in the Great Leap Forward, and The Cultural Revolution cleaned up the rest.

Sure there's a pretense to art, music, history, gastronomic delights, language, etc. But one trip to The Forbidden City in Beijing, or one look at the built-today/broke-tomorrow construction mentality and you realize the binding's cracked and it's just cheap, aged cello tape holding the whole thing together.

There really is a bubble around my world here, and I think it's impossible for a foreigner to get any sort of real insight into China. I think when Deng Xiaoping opened China in 1979, it was the way a sensitive landmark gets "opened" to the public - more with a polished look, a big bright "DO NOT CROSS" sign and LOADS going on behind the scenes. Though capitalism is making a play here and everyone and their brother (oh wait...) has a cell phone, I think 26 years has changed little in this regard.

Perhaps I'm a little down on the China because I just can't seem to be anything other than sick in this country - but taking a look around at the endless amounts of 'In China' blogs by foreigners, and a lackluster feel is a constant theme.

This certainly isn't to say there aren't a million interesting things to see/learn here - it's, perhaps, just not what I expected when I thought of China. I saw a quote the other day that said "Shanghai is all face and no heart or soul". I think it, somewhat sadly, might be fair to expand this to the country as a whole. "Face" is something as integral to China as a stringent denial of the requirement of an alphabet. Face is in everything that is done here whether it be shopping, eating out, dealing with your boss, talking to friends... whatever. However, I think the heart and soul of the country has been successfully suppressed by decades of criticisms towards any opinion that didn't line up.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm way off and maybe the fact that I'm a lao wai in a country that is skilled at keeping itself closed to outsiders has caused me to be a little blind to things. The other big bias I have is Thailand - a small country that really shouldn't be compared to anything the colossal size of China. However, everything in Thailand screams with Thai culture. You can taste it, touch it, smell it. You breath it in, bathe in it, and couldn't escape it if you wanted to. But in China... even looking for it, aside from some Spring/Summer/Autumn/Winter paintings and a few items that are older than 1966 (including the Japanese-made Jinzhou Train Station! Funny how no one was throwing eggs or rocks at it though.) culture is just something that is a challenge to find.